   
| | | | | | | | Family & Issues | Single Parents, Step Parents, and Blended Families | | BACK TO: Single Parents, Step Parents, and Blended Families | 
| | | NEXT MESSAGE  | | | | | AUTHOR: | saraj5682 | DATE: 02/20/04 6:21am | | SUBJECT: |  Perfect man, too much baggage - HELP! | | | I feel somewhat dumb for writing on here because I am so young. The short story is that I am 21 and my boyfriend is 33, divorced with two kids. If you met us, you would think we are the same age. My parents think of him as part of the family and everyone loves him--he is perfect besides all of the baggage he carries.
He started pursuing me last year and I told him point blank: "I would never date a man with kids." I guess you can't control love -- he is an amazing man and we have been dating for more than a year. I am about to graduate college. The problem is that he lives in the same town as his kids and since August has seen them less than a handful of times. There are things that are always running through my mind that I HATE to think about: If we get married, it’s not his first wedding (I dream of my wedding with a man who has never has one before), same with kids – I feel that if we ever got to that point, he has already done it and experienced it with someone else so I feel like I am the second time around. Financial – almost half of his salary now goes toward his kids even though he has no relationship with them. What if we get married?? He will constantly have to be giving money to other people – and what about after they are 18? How much does he expect to be forking over to them when we have own things to take care of? These things go through my head all the time – I am about to graduate and have my whole life ahead of me with no baggage or anything holding me back. We live in the Midwest now and he says that come May, when I graduate, he will move anywhere with me because he has to get out of here and start his life over.
Can anyone relate? I feel like I am way too young to be getting into all of this – my friends always make fun of me saying they would NEVER put themselves in this situation. Will it get better or should I get out now? I’m a mature 21 year old, but I am always kicking myself and thinking “what have I gotten into?” | |  | |
| | 
|
PREVIOUS DISCUSSION