 | Well, when I first met Chris, he basically played Twenty Questions with me, as if to see if I was “worthy” enough of being his friend, and of course, I threw a few smart-assed comments in there just to see what he would say. I think I remember a few of them I said.
In spite of being a total idiot about it, I apparently passed the...test ,for I was invited to an “anime night” at Chris’ house. Funny, it was taking place that same night and I wanted to join debate. Lucky me, Chris said he would wait for me. I was kind of baffled at that since no one would wait around for me before.
Continuing on, when the final bell rang and I was packing up, my brother Kevin and his friend, Eric in tow came up to my locker. So Kevin told me all about Chris. I was more than slightly put off by what he said and I told him I was just going to debate. Basically, he said that Chris was a total druggie and asked Kevin to get high with him. I secretly tried to think up a list of excuses of why I couldn’t go to his house if no one else would accompany us.
Long story short, I went to debate, found out it would take up my weekends, and I would have to dish out $20 dollars (I didn’t have a job at the time), so I left and I got to the Commons {cafeteria} and looked around for Chris. I almost felt the burden of lying lift off my shoulders...
Uh oh...I only had a dollar bill to call my mom and the SSO (Student Service Office) probably was closed. I started digging through my backpack when I saw Chriis approaching me.
I believed I put on a good acting job. Maybe one day I’ll be gutsy enough to ask.
I acted as if I was going to his house until I said I had to ask. In mid dial, I seemed to remember a doctor appointment (Should've said dentist...)
Chris asked if I wanted him to wait with me, I personally didn’t care, thus said that.
He asked me more questions, and I got slightly annoyed and asked him about the stuff Kevin told me. Found out something interesting I presented Kevin with. Chris said that he WAS into drugs, but Kevin also used as well. I don't know if Kevin ever used drugs, because they are both liars in my opinion. We also got started talking and he subtly admitted that he was flirting with me. I can't believe I didn't see it.
Within the week, I developed an infatuation for him. He was nice...at the times and often times made perverted jokes I thought were amusing, but would be disgusted if anyone else said that.
That went on for a while, and throughout it I felt like some child. I even attempted to stop cutting so he wouldn’t think I was such a psychopath.
....I was so naive to be deceived in such a way. When I hit realization, it didn’t go unnoticed and added about 60 cuts to my collection.
Chris is now a total jerk to me. I feel like some stupid child, especially when I heard him say in the exact same tone of voice asking a girl he was having anime night that night and if she would come.
I was on the verge of tears, but I couldn’t be weak and cry, could I? So after being in a mental hospital to stop, I had to do something to make me feel better. I was merely an interest.
Now, I'm at another school, and Chris and I haven't spoken for such a long time. I am so desperate just to talk to him again and I wish I didn't lie to him, because who knows what would have happen by now. I am desperate to do anything just to be with him because it hurts so much. |
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