 | h808165 gave you good advise. To add to that, whenever this happens at my house (or I know it's about the happen) I immediately seperate them with a child gate. The young one stays with me. The consequence for the aggressor does need to be something near and dear to them. If taking it away does not work (it didn't for me), up the ante and throw the item in the garbage. Also, I think your older son doesn't dislike his sibling but is very jealous instead. He wants you to himself. I think it's very important to give your older child one-on-one attention with each parent daily. Hire a babysitter or "mother's helper" for an hour or do it when the younger one takes a nap. And I mean, play with him, engaging him in conversation, focusing completely on him, and his activity. And praise him, tell him he's special to you, that you want him to be happy. Dad needs to commit to one on one time with him every day after work--playing kickball or riding bikes, or going for a walk, whatever.
I think your son is telling you with his behavior that he needs more attention from you.
And this may sound odd, but my youngest is 16 months. So I make a funny voice and pretend to be her talking to my 4.5 yo boy. I say things like "I missed you today" "can I have a hug?" "will you show me how to..." "you are the greatest big brother" "you are hurting my feelings and making me really sad." My son simply loves this, and asks me to do it. I am convinced that this contributes to how he views his sibling. |
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