 | Dear mama2three,
I too am a mama to three, three boys at that. Five years ago, just before he turned 3, my youngest son disclosed he was being abused by the husband of one of my dearest friends at the time. He also said her own son, just 6 months younger, was also being abused. His disclosure was very innocent, just after bath time, when I was teaching him about privacy. My first reaction was to think he was wrong, that he must mean something else. But when I watched his behaviour, and asked him more questions, I realized he could not be making up this kind of story.
It was the most difficult thing we ever did, but we went to the Child Protection Agency in our city (we lived in Ontario and there was an agency responsible for this, otherwise you would call the police). My husband and I and our son were interviewed by a social worker and the police, and it was determined that his story was worth investigating. When the police went to our friend's home, both my friend and her husband denied it 100%. The agency continued with their investigation and interviewed the other children involved with the family, who were between 26 and 38 months of age. None of the other children had the verbal skills my son had to express themselves, or were too afraid to tell the truth, or had been coached to not say anything. Either way, the police were not able to press charges at the time, due to insufficient evidence. My son was too young to tesfify in court, and my testimony, as his mother, was inadmissible. Only if he had disclosed to a teacher or caregiver could there testimony be admissible.
It's a crazy world we live in, where it is so young to protect the youngest of children. I am also a nurse, and I can tell you that there is no reason for your son to be behaving as he is unless he has in fact been abused. A child his age does not make up this kind of story, nor does he have as much knowledge about sex as your son is demonstrating. Going to the authorities and protecting my son changed my life forever, but it was the best thing I ever did. I realize this would change your life even more, since your son states it is his father who is abusing him, but you will never regret protecting him.
My only hope for my friend, who continues to stay with her husband and live in denial, is that the fear of the authorities has been enough to make him realize he must never act out his urges again. I pray he gets the help he needs, and that all the children he is in contact with stay protected.
That is my prayer for you, your son, and your husband as well.
Mamaof3boys. |
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