 | Hi, I can't believe someone else has this problem, too. My son is now 4 years old and his tantrums are so much worse. He is a big kid, 50 lbs and tall, and he hits me when he doesn't get his way. He yells so loud people look at me like he is retarded and horrible. When he finally calms down he says he is sorry and he is so loving and sweet, I know he feels bad but it seems like he really can't control himself in the midst of a fit.
But the tantrums make me not want to go anywhere with him. Even just now I brushed his teeth and he attacked me and scratched me and kicked me. I don't know what to do anymore. Spanking him doesn't do anything. Some days I feel like all I am doing is reprimanding him and yelling at him to stop hurting me. He can't handle preschool yet. He has severe separation anxiety from me and screams even with family members who babysit him.
And he is so defiant -- if he doesn't want to do something, like go to his cousins house-- he will scream so loud that I have to take him out of their house because he ruins the whole outing for everyone. If he doesn't scream, he will sit in the car until he either calms down (which he doesn't usually) or I leave with him.
I don't know what to do. He doesn't hit other kids usually--not in anger anyway. Sometimes he is too rough with them in play, but he doesn't attack them. Only me or whoever is babysitting him--like my sister-in-law. I actually have bruises and scratches on me and I am so worried that he will never ever be able to control himself enough to stay in preschool.
He has a speech delay and we are scheduled for a thorough speech and hearing evaluation and phsych eval. Until then, I worry so much that he is suffering from some sort of disorder but I don't know what. I don't see the autistic spectrum in him, but I don't know. He does seem in his own little world sometimes, but that may be because of a hearing impairment. His language is improving and I understand him more and more, it's the bahaviour I worry about. When I think of him I think how beautiful and loving he is, but also how very difficult and painful. I think of how many times I have left parties, swimming pools, grocery stores, parks, even my own workplace with him hitting me and attacking me to the point where I am shaking from restraining him. Now he is becoming dangerous because he has started hitting me while I am driving. He even took off his seat belt and stood up to hit me. I had to pull over and restrain him.
People always say I have the patience of a saint, but I feel like I am losing it quickly. There are days when I hate myself so much because I want to get away from him because he can be so hard. And then when he calms down and cries and says he is sorry, I get my patience back.
But now, no one really wants us around. My 5 yr old girl is losing out on some special events because we can't go with my 4 yr old also. He just can't handle certain things and it will be miserable for me and him (like attending a family reunion out of town--he will ruin it and scream to go home the whole time.)
I am scared. Really scared. And now i feel bad because I didn't mention enough just how loving and fun he is and wonderful.
Any ideas? Someone mentioned ODD, but I don't know what that is. I will google it now.
thanks |
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