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| | | NEXT MESSAGE  | | | | | AUTHOR: | jamz | DATE: 11/12/03 9:24am | | SUBJECT: |  trying to blend a family | | | I have been a single mom for almost 10 years. I have not dated for the last 7, simply because it was too hard. I met a wonderful man 7 months ago. Neither of us were looking for a relationship, but we have grown to love one another. I have two children, a son 10 and a daughter, 15. He has one daughter, 11. My children live with me and his daughter is with us every weekend. We do not live together. We are trying to do everything right. We did not involve the kids in our relationship for several months...until we were certain that we wanted it to be a permanent relationship. We are moving slowly to allow the children time to adjust to us being together and to each other. After some initial rough edges, all of the kids seem to accept our relationship. He has assumed a "father" role with my son who has very little contact with his biological father. He disciplines and does "manly" things. He has taken on the "friend" role with my daughter. We do the "good cop"/"bad cop" routine with him being the good cop. They both have become very close to him. His daughter seems to accept me and the kids. The two younger children get along fine. The problem is my daughter cannot stand to be around his daughter. She says she is "spoiled and selfish", "rude", etc....which she can be and we all realize it...including her father. When she comes, my daugther does not want to have anything to do with her and completely ignores her. She does not want to make any effort to get along with her. Is this normal? How do I address it? With whom do I address it? Help....we want our relationship and eventually marriage to last forever. This could be the deal breaker. He is beginning to resent the way my daughter treats his daughter. I see his point, but can't seem to make in head way in getting my daughter to understand it. He says I should just make her be nice! Help. | |  | |
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