 | I think one of the reasons this site has so much fetish or Christians of the Dobson style is the fact that most people in my attachment parenting, non violent community of loving families who don't punish are not obsessed with discipline. We wouldn't come to a discipline board because we are not obsessed with it in such an isolated way.
Yes, inner discipline is wonderful and worth striving toward our whole lives and yes I can certainly improve on it. But we don't think discipline is so important that we isolate it from all the other aspects of parenting and obsess about it to the point of punishing.
I think that an obsession with discipline in parenting is taking that one quality, inner self discipline, and blowing it out of proportion, and that is scary. That is messing things up. That is creating trouble.
This may sound funny coming from someone who is overdoing the amount of posts I am making to the board, but I will say anyway, that overdoing anything in parenting to the exclusion or destruction of other parts of the relationship is damaging.
Focussing on discipline to the point that you punish and risk destroying the natural safe bond with your child is getting carried away with discipline while ignoring all the other needs of the child and the relationship.
Don't throw your loving parent/ child relationshp out the window to force your child to instantly master inner discipline over something small.
Have discipline, but have it in harmony with all the other parts of your parenting. When people are punishing in the name of discipline, it is no longer in harmony with the whole rest of the relationship - it is actually jeopardizing it.
Our children are learning so much every day. Work with them. Enjoy them. Nurture all the parts of the relationship without putting any of it at risk.
Problem solve, but don't punish. |
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