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| | | NEXT MESSAGE  | | | | | AUTHOR: | daddylongdreads | DATE: 09/28/03 4:32pm | | SUBJECT: |  Right or wrong | | | Hello, all…Here’s the situation and its kinda long but you’ll see why. About a year ago I ended a six year relationship with someone and basically rushed into another one with a divorcee. I didn’t want to really enter into a relationship because how can you break up with someone and then go right into something else. What complicates matters even more is the fact that, she has a son, 7 that is ADHD, (Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder). And I too have a daughter, she’s 9 and she’s mixed. I told this woman coming into the relationship that we should take things slowly as we both have children to think about. Mine doesn’t live with me, but still, before I get involved with someone I think of the ramifications going into a relationship, especially with someone that has a child. So I told her about this, and she told me that my daughter would have to get over it, that she would have to understand how things are. Now granted I understand that, but on the other hand she expected me to basically put my daughter to the side, not give a damn about how she feels about anything and concentrate on being with her and her son. I think that that is wrong, I mean that’s selfish, not to mention that I think that this woman has to understand that I did have a life before she returned to mine, which she acts like I didn’t. The times that I’ve spent with her and her son, he’s just acted so badly that I don’t see myself dealing with it, even his teachers report on how messed up he behaves. The behavior is just out of control at times, and I’ve told this woman that I can’t deal with him, that I don’t want to be a step dad, and that she should focus on helping her child rather than being with someone. She basically got mad and told me that she didn’t want to be a step mom which I don’t care because I didn’t ask her to be anyways. My daughter’s race also is a problem, recently I met with my daughter’s mom for a function and we just talked, you know being civil. The woman with the son, who is black, disliked the fact that I got along with my daughter’s mom who is white, I mean she wasn’t even there, but still. She’s also made off comments that I fear she’d slip and say in front of my daughter. Her son has too, if fact, because of the way he acts, I know he would say something because my daughter’s so light, I ‘m wondering am I overreacting by ending things altogether, or am I right by leaving things alone, something tells me that years down the line, it could get worse just by the way that this woman, seems to think. I understand that love conquers all but I don’t want to create a bomb that waits to explode as the years go by. Tell me what you think…. | |  | |
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