 | RE: "A lot of anger is being expressed here lately."
Anger is often misunderstood when it doesn’t look like ANGER. Our culture teaches us to repress and hide our anger, but Anger won’t be held down – it’s like trying to hold a basketball under water! So hidden Anger can look like: Boredom, tiredness, indifference, depression, low sex drive, too much sex, Sarcastic Humor, Criticism, Complaining, Guilt-tripping, Excess Smiling, weeping, preaching, frustration and many other actions that do not resemble Anger.
Repressed and hidden Anger is responsible for many illnesses and much child abuse that is rarely identified as ABUSE. We see a lot of Anger Repressors on this forum who complain about others “Anger” which has touched them and they can’t take it. Anything that threatens to expose or unleash their hidden anger is resented or feared as the Repressor holds on for dear life.
Anger Hiders often believe their criticism and judgments are meant to help others, they’re being “funny”, it’s no big deal, they mean no harm, etc. and such Anger Hiders don’t even know that they are HIDDING ANGER. They think, based on social norms, that they are normal and ok while they complain about “Angry People”.
The tragedy of Anger (repressed or not) is that the Anger Repressors often take it out on the WRONG TARGET: their kids, spouse, boss, co-workers, pets, etc. instead of sending their Anger back to those that hurt them originally – usually their parents, siblings, relatives, and/or other figures from early childhood and up. They are terrified to confront their parents and other early abusers so they hit easier targets with their often-uncontrollable HIDDEN anger.
Discipline (the subject of this board) enters the picture when a Delusional Anger Repressor dumps their anger on their helpless kids with: Mixed messages, inconsistency, PHONINESS, excess punishments, neglect, sarcasm, ridicule, LYING, BULLYING, all kinds of distortions and many other bad actions that are just pathetic attempts to satisfy their hidden Anger’s demand for EXPRESSION and/or REVENGE (Justice).
So, if you’re a nice, sweet, reasonable, person (like on this board) and you don’t get ANGRY like those “other people”, it may be true OR it could be that you’re living in DENIAL with buried, unhealed ANGER that is probably already wrecking your life, relationships and YOUR DEFENSELESS KIDS! Hidden Anger can be brought up and safely discharged so it doesn’t go on damaging you and others once you recognize it and decide to stop letting hidden Rage ruin things.
I’d recommend some counseling as soon as you realize what your hidden anger is doing to everyone.
jim |
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