 | Wow, it must be tough not to be able to get 5 minutes to yourself during the day. Does your son take naps still? If so, at least that is some time you would have to yourself. If not I think you should have him take naps. My 4 year old daughter doesn't take naps anymore but I make her have "quiet time" for at least an hour every day. During quiet time is when I let her watch a video and tell her that she must lay down with a blanket and pillow and not be running around playing. It's nice for her because she gets to relax and watch a movie, which she likes because she doesn't get much T.V. other than that. It's nice for me because I have a chance to catch up on housework, give special attention to my new baby boy without her feeling jealous, or even take a nap myself (if I can time it right with the baby's nap). Anyway, that works for me.
REgarding the computer try setting up a little kids table next to the computer and have him color or something while you check your email or whatever you need to do. Or even get a little kids toy computer that he can copy what you are doing.
As for following you around the house and into the bathroom, well in my house there is no privacy in the bathroom, but then again I don't have the same problem you have. If the bathroom is one of the only times you can get privacy and he tries to follow you in there, I think you may need to be insistant that he keep doing what he's doing by picking him up and putting him back to where he was playing and telling him that mommy needs to go potty by herself and she will be right back. If he gets up to follow you to the bathroom again, pick him up again and put him back to where he was playing. I would continue this until he stays. If he won't stay, go to bathroom, tell him that you love him but you need to go potty alone and close the door behind you. I know it may sound a little harsh to close the door on your son, but it's not. He needs to learn that if you leave the room you WILL ALWAYS come back. He needs to learn that he doesn' have to be with you ALL the time. He needs to form his own identity and become his own person. Right now it sounds like he is so involved with you that he can't separate himself or distinguish himself from you. He must learn that he can't have his way all the time and it's better he learns that now. If it means you have to let him scream then so-be-it. He may throw a tantrum at first but eventually he will learn. Eventually he will be old enough to understand what privacy means and what it means to need to be alone. Even mommys need time-outs sometimes so don't be afraid to give yourself one, even if your son doesn't want to cooperate. Don't feel guilty about it and don't feel like you are abandoning your son because you aren't. You can't be responsible for his constant entertainment. You love your son very much, I can tell, and he knows it too. Our kids love spending time with us, but believe me, they love and respect us even more when we set limits and boundaries for them. They need it and so do you. Good luck! |
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