 | Jim,It's interesting that you had feedback on any permanent damage I may have already done to my son by spanking him. I spent a great deal of time thinking about that myself and considering what approach I should use in earning back his trust that my hands and arms are for love and affection, not pain and abuse. I too came from a VERY physically and emotionally abusive home with my father and his wife (since I was 3). When I wasn't with them I was with a completely undisciplining and irresponsible mother who was the polar extreme in a different but equally abusive way to my Father. I got the "best" of both sick worlds and have my own unique perspective on raising my children. So far, I am doing a pretty darn good job and am finding healing in each day I have with My daughter and son. Being their mother and caregiver is the best thing that has ever happened to my life. Big thanks to my wonderful husband and amazing father for this incredible opportunity.
I digress.
Determination is my middle name and the fact that I love my children more than anything in the world is on my side. I am already seeing signs that my son is begining to react accordingly when I am telling him is "right" and "wrong" without
having to resort to anything more than disapproval or the threat of a time out. We are beginning to have discussions with him about saying he is sorry, and that means he won't do it again. He is an amazing boy. I can only add that I resorted to spanking for issues of his safety- things like taking his seatbelt off in the car while we were driving on the freeway (a 5 point system)and opening the front door (2 locks)to go outside without any supervision. We live on a moderately busy street. He got more than fair warning that I would "spank" him if he did these things- but would basically laugh and watch me while he did it anyway. It was rough. There were a few other situations, but I think you get the picture.
As for the points about the trolling, I don't get it, I don't like it, I don't appreciate it, it doesn't seem productive and I'm confused by it because it makes one seem malicious. "let the games begin" "may the best man win" takes away from your messages. nuff said.
Thanks you again for your nice words. |
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