 | Dear nuper,
As I have such high respect for what you write, I'll be very honest and sincere with you now.
re: Are you "trolling" as well as smoking out others who are?
I don't care at all if folks want to TROLL as I've seen it before and having a struggle with someone at a forum is a waste of my time and energy. But even trollers can provide a Newcomer with food for thought and insights, etc.
re: I am truely unable to determine what your motives are.
and re: I would love to think everyone else is, but from some of the things I read, I realize that I can't be sure.
Please copy and paste some exact examples of my writing that troubles you and I'll offer some explanation......sometimes I am sincere and sometimes I don't believe the person I'm addressing deserves my sincerety or respect.
re: The problem is, that there are times now that I reach for him and he shrinks back in a defensive position.
That happened to me in my abusive, hitting family and I developed quite a flinching reaction to being touched. Despite all kinds of healing work, I still "flinch" when my wife unexpectedly touches me. I sucks to be an on edge, on guard Post Traumatic Survivor but I'm getting more relaxed in this non-violent relationship. I doubt that the trauma of early childhood ever totally goes away as it's very deep parental programing.
Re: It breaks my heart that my son sees me as someone he needs to defend himself from, and we are working on healing that wound.
Since you're one of the ones he fears and shrinks from, I imagine it'll take lots and lots of work to regain his trust and heal his wound(s)...if it's even at all possible!
Re: I know we will, but it truely has hurt me as much as it has hurt him.
Based on my experience, I truely doubt that you will ever know how much it hurts him or anyone....even if you suffered the same type of wound. I'd guess the closest you'll ever come to hurting as much as he hurts is in the relm of empathy and compassion for a fellow hurter which, IMO, is good enough for a healthy relationship.
" Thank you for your favorable comments, provided they were for real and not just an attempt to stroke me into coming back here. My Ego really does not need it, but I admit I appreciate it."
and I appreciate you and your words.......
respectfully yours, jim |
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