 | ||
|
| |    Responding to School Shootings: What Parents Can Say and Do by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Robert Sege, M.D., Ph.D. The last few years have seen a string of unspeakably horrible acts of violence in which children have opened fire on their classmates using high-powered handguns and rifles. The locations of these events--Littleton, Jonesboro, Springfield, and others--have come to stand for a nightmare reality. Television has brought the horror into every home. And while each new incident brings renewed calls for somebody (that is, for us) to do something, it also raises questions about our ability to stop the violence. School shootings pose particular questions for us as parents: How will our children react? What is the effect on children when violence can suddenly appear in a place that is supposed to be safe? What can we say to help our children cope? Moreover, what can we--and our children--do to prevent school shootings? Why talk about it? A school shooting makes big news. Even if you try to shield your child, chances are that he will hear about the event in graphic detail from friends. If you don't ask, your child may not tell you that he's concerned; he may decide that your silence means either that you don't care or that you don't want to talk about the issue. Like many other tough topics, not talking about school shootings is only bound to intensify any emotional effects. Children worry about school shootings for the same reason that parents do: The fact that such terrible events do happen means that they could happen to them. While children are confronted by violent events on a daily basis, most don't hit so close to home. The "it can't happen here" approach does not apply readily to school shootings. Even so, many children respond to news of a school shooting without much apparent upset. But they may be upset inside. The best way to find out is to ask. A simple question, "What do you think about the shooting in ______?" may be all you need to start the conversation. You might also ask, "What are the kids in school saying about it?" or "What did the teacher say?" The important thing is to open up the topic, then listen to your child. Let your child know that whatever he is feeling is OK, whether it's fear, grief, or not much at all. Children at risk Some children are more likely to have a strong emotional reaction to the news of a school shooting, especially those
At any age, the most basic psychological need is to feel safe. A young child often can be reassured by a confident parent who simply states, "I will make sure that you are safe--I always do." Of course, in reality you cannot absolutely guarantee your child's safety. But young children see their parents as all-powerful, and feeling safe is critically important. So, it's best to promise safety. As children move through elementary school, they become more and more aware that their parents' powers are limited. They can see that Mom and Dad cannot honestly guarantee that nothing bad will ever happen. But they need to know that their parents are doing everything they possibly can to ensure their safety. Some children may find comfort in the fact that school shootings are very rare events. The actual chance that a shooting will occur in any particular school is extremely small. Most children, however, can't understand the concept of probability or risk. A parent's reassurance is much more powerful. What you can do Although talking with your child is important, it is even more helpful to also take positive action. By taking action, you make good on your promise to do everything you possibly can to keep your child safe. By helping him to also become active, you fight against the crippling feeling of helplessness in the face of a threat.
| |  | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| About Us |
Contact Us |
Our Partners Privacy Policy | Ethics | Advertising Policy | Terms of Service © Copyright 2004 The Dr. Spock Company. All Rights Reserved. THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information drSpock.com
provides is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for
professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care
professional if you have a specific health concern. Mention or advertisement
of any product, service, or brand does not constitute endorsement, guarantee,
or recommendation by The Dr. Spock Company. Please read our full
Terms of Service. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
