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| |    Teaching Preschoolers about Privacy by Debra W. Haffner, M.P.H., F.S.A.M. reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Preschool is a good time to introduce the concept of privacy to your children. But, first you need to ask yourself some questions about your own family's values and preferences:
Your answer to these questions will help you set parameters for your children's behavior. You will need to think through the messages you want to give them about genital touching, nudity, and alone time before you can teach them which behaviors are private and permissible in your family. There are no right answers to these questions. For example, some parents are comfortable with all members of the family being unclothed in front of each other; others want everyone in the family to be fully dressed before they leave their bedroom to use the bathroom. Families have different values and preferences regarding nudity--what's important is communicating yours to your children. Regardless of your family's values, it is important to pay attention to your children's cues: Some will let you know that they are uncomfortable seeing your nude body or having you see theirs. Respect their need for modesty and dress when they aren't in the room. And if you are a home that is comfortable with family nudity, you also need to let your child know that other families have different habits. They will still want to wear pajamas or robes when they go to sleepovers at their friends' homes. Some basic privacy concepts A simple definition of privacy for a preschooler is: "Private places are places where you can expect to be alone for a while when you want to. In our home, a private place for you is (your bedroom, the bathroom-whatever you think is appropriate). A private place for Mom and Dad in our home is the bedroom when the door is shut." You also can introduce your preschool-age children to the concept that a closed door means privacy, and that any member of the family will knock and ask permission before they enter. Some families give each person a little "Privacy, please" sign to signal when they want to be alone. If we expect our children to honor our privacy, we must be willing to honor theirs as well. Regardless of your values about privacy, all children need to learn that touching their genitals is a private behavior, just like using the bathroom for most families is a private behavior--at least once everyone in the household is toilet-trained. Preschoolers are old enough to understand that other people will be upset if they see them touching their genitals in public, and that this type of behavior should be reserved for when they are alone in a private place. Talk about:
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