• Toys should be fun. Toys often are marketed these days as being "educational," as though activities only are worthwhile if they teach something. I'm all for children learning, but there is also value in just having fun. Try to imagine yourself as a child--does the toy you're about to buy strike you as being really fun?



• Don't worry about sex roles. Parents often are concerned if their boy likes dolls or the color pink, or if their girl likes trucks and roughhousing. Relax. There isn't one shred of evidence that play that crosses typical sex-role boundaries is bad in any way unless it's the only sort of play your child engages in. It doesn't make boys sissies or girls tomboys. It doesn't lead to homosexuality. All it does is give children a wider range of fun things to do, and parents more options for presents to buy!



• Go for flexibility. Toys that only work if you use them in a certain way often aren't as interesting as ones that allow your child to make up different ways to play with them. For example, building-block sets with lots of basic pieces allow maximum inventiveness; those that have a lot of "special purpose" pieces may be less flexible. Often, low-tech is actually more fun.



• Plan to play, too. A lot of high-tech toys seemed designed for children to enjoy alone. I'm thinking of contraptions that talk, for example, and many computerized toys. For younger children, in particular, the greatest enjoyment and learning comes from playing with an interested adult or older child. A simple ball, rolled back and forth between a parent and child, can be the best fun of all.



• Think outside the (toy) box. Not all great presents are toys, especially for school-age and older children. Think about treasures: a stamp collection, a box of interesting old coins or marbles, vintage or new comic books, or beautiful handcrafted objects (look at art fairs for small figures made out of wood, pottery, or wire, for example). If your child likes collecting little treasures, how about finding a special box to put them in?



• Let your values guide you. You don't have to buy toy guns or violent video games, even if your child wants these things. If you take a stand and explain to your child why you don't think these toys are appropriate, you're teaching him a valuable lesson. Besides, children find ways of playing out their fantasies of being heroes with or without realistic props. If cutthroat competition concerns you, look for board games that promote cooperation. It's also OK to take your own preferences into account. If buzzers, bells, and computer-generated cheering drive you crazy, for instance, pick toys that don't have all those sound effects!



• Great toys don't need to be bought. Some of the best toys are ones you make yourself: a scarf, hat, and shoes for dress-up play; a large-sized cardboard box cut out and decorated to be a puppet theater; or a collection of odd-shaped pieces of wood, sanded smooth. (If you make your own toys, of course, pay special attention to principles of toy safety.)



• Money is not the measure of love. As you shop, remember what gift-giving really is: a way to express love and friendship. Less truly can be more. A child who is showered in toys may come to feel that nothing in particular has value. A child who receives a very few presents (but plenty of love) may discover with delight that he has been given a treasure.

• Building Family Traditions


• Preparing Healthy Holiday Meals


• Coping with Holiday Stress


• Holiday Safety Issues

• Your Holiday Celebrations

© Copyright 2004 The Dr. Spock Company. All Rights Reserved.