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Children's Books to Soothe Worries and Fears
by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
Any good children's book can help a child deal with worries and fears, simply by providing distraction and an occasion for closeness. A book does not have to deal with the specific troubling issue to be helpful. A child who is frightened of airplanes, for example, might find comfort in a story about a sailboat or a train, or about a child who outsmarts a wicked witch. Some of the books below address the topics of death or violence more or less head-on, but others touch more indirectly on the issues. In the end, either approach can support a child's coping.
Although we've listed the books below by age, please feel free to use your own judgment. Some young children love long stories, while many older children are quite happy to revisit picture books with a parent. The only hard and fast rule is to pay attention to how your child is responding, and when she loses interest, do something different.
For more general tips on using books to help children cope, see Picture Books in a Time of Stress. The following list is only a small sampling of the many wonderful books that can comfort children during upsetting times. A children's librarian may be helpful in suggesting more.
Infants and toddlers
For the youngest children, the most important qualities of a good book are that it is attractive and invites active participation. Books that support feelings of togetherness and belonging help children deal with feelings of anxiety or aloneness in the wake of a disaster. In fact, any book that is familiar can create a sense of predictability and safety.
- Pat the Bunny, by Dorothy Kunhardt. This book is a classic, complete with different shapes and textures to feel, a flap to lift, and a mirror to gaze into. Several other titles have similar hands-on features to capture young children's interest.
- Goodnight Moon, by Margaret Wise Brown, famous for its soothing poetry and ability to convey feelings of safety and peace.
- The Runaway Bunny, by Margaret Wise Brown. The young bunny in this story thinks about running away and is comforted when his mother always finds a way to bring him home.
- The Little Engine That Could, by Watty Piper. A small locomotive overcomes self-doubts and a steep mountain to rescue a circus. Although not specifically about crises, this story certainly supports a child's sense of being able to tackle and overcome obstacles.
- Can't You Sleep, Little Bear?, by Martin Waddell. A little bear is afraid of the dark, but finds comfort in the arms of the big bear that cares for him. A good story about facing fears with the help of a trusted adult.
Preschool age
- The Little House,by Virginia Lee Burton. A little house in the country is swallowed up by the city growing nearby, but returns, in the end, to where it belongs. The underlying theme--that the world can change in threatening ways, but then return to happier times--offers children a measure of comfort.
- Time of Wonder, by Robert McCloskey. Beautifully illustrated and simply told, this book captures the rhythms of nature during one summer on an island in Maine. Ferns grow, fishing boats pass by, children play. Toward the end of the season, a violent hurricane sweeps over the island. Together, the children and their parents board the windows, stuff sheets under the doors, and sing hymns over the roar. The peaceful aftermath of the storm is a powerful reminder of the resilience of families and of nature itself. (McCloskey is also the author of the more famous Make Way for Ducklings and several other classics.)
- Outside over There, by Maurice Sendak. Famous for Where the Wild Things Are, Sendak wrote many other stories that explore children's inner fears and desires. In this one, a brave girl saves her younger brother from goblins. Children may take heart from this story of a strong, resourceful child using her creativity to confront evil.
- Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children, by Bryan Mellonie. In very simple language, this book explains that every living thing has a beginning, an end, and a lifetime in between. By portraying death as a part of living, the book manages to be comforting without being at all sentimental.
- Everett Anderson's Goodbye, by Lucille Clifton. A simply worded poem and powerful pictures follow a young boy through the steps of mourning for his father. (There are many other Everett Anderson books, all wonderful.)
- My Grandson Lew, by Charlotte Zolotow. Together with his mother, a little boy remembers his grandfather, who died years ago. This is a very gentle tale about how love continues to bring families together, even after death.
School-age
The books in this section are longer--good for reading a chapter or two at a time. Don't forget, though, that school-age children often will want to look at picture books from earlier years, particularly when they are ill or scared.
- The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett. This is a classic tale of two children--one a self-centered orphan, the other a bitter invalid--who are able to grow toward health and friendship. At its root, this story affirms the power of youth and life to overcome loneliness and fear.
- The Witches, by Roald Dahl. In this classic adventure, a brave boy gets turned into a mouse, but still manages to defeat an international plot by witches who hate children. A frightening tale of evil in which good triumphs in the end.
- Charlotte's Web, by E.B. White. At the end of this classic, full of wisdom as well as humor, Charlotte, a spider and a true friend, dies, but her children live on.
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Created September 17, 2001
Reviewed August 25, 2004
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