| |  
Six Reasons to Talk with Your Teen about Sex
by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
reviewed by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P.
Nobody I know feels completely comfortable talking about sex with their teenage child, but most agree that it is an important thing to do. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), fewer teens are sexually active now than 10 years ago. But even so, the majority of young people in the U.S. experience sexual intercourse before age 18. Teen sex is a fact of life, like it or not.
There are many reasons why it's a good idea to talk about sex with your teenager:
- To reduce teen pregnancy. Teens who are well informed about sex and have thought through the issues are more likely to abstain from sex or to use appropriate contraception.
- To prevent sexually transmitted diseases. Teens need to understand the risks of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV), the cause of AIDS. On average, one U.S. teenager out of four--approximately 3 million teens--becomes infected with a sexually transmitted disease each year. This is one of the highest rates in the developed world. More than 40 percent of teens who have sex on a regular basis fail to use a condom or other barrier every time. Teens need to take responsibility for keeping themselves safe.
- To guard against date rape. An educated teen is less likely to find herself in a dangerous situation--alone with someone she doesn't know well, for example. Understanding the risk of sexual violence is important for girls, who are usually the victims, but also for boys. Boys need to know that it is not manly to use force to obtain sex. They need to understand that "no" really does mean "no." They need to be able to stand up to peers who may brag about acts of sexual coercion, or apply other forms of social pressure.
- To reinforce the efforts of schools and doctors. Schools and doctors don't always follow through with their responsibility to educate teens about sex. According to the AAP, primary healthcare providers counsel teens about sex only about half of the time. Some form of sex education is offered in most schools, but many (35 percent) teach abstinence only, never delving into more controversial but vital topics such as contraception and STD prevention. It's not clear how this helps the large number of children who are already sexually active. (On the other hand, according to the Surgeon General, school programs that include these topics, along with abstinence education, do help reduce unintended pregnancies and STDs, and even encourage teens to delay sexual activity.)
- To understand that sex is more than just mechanics. Sex education is more than learning about the anatomy and mechanics of intercourse. It also has to do with the whole range of human feelings, including connection, commitment, belonging, self-esteem, and love (as well as lust). Sex has emotional--and for many people, spiritual--aspects. It's important that parents share their convictions about these topics, and also support their teens in the necessary process of thinking through these issues.
- To connect with your teen. Even with the best efforts of schools and doctors, teens want to hear from their parents. Though they sometimes pretend not to, teens do care what their parents think. If you can't bring yourself to talk with your child about sex, it's important that you find someone else--a friend, family member, doctor, or other trusted adult--who can give your child the information and reassurance she needs.
Next steps
Assuming that you've decided that talking about sex with your teen is something you need to do, our next article should give you some ideas about how to start.
|
Created August 07, 2001
Reviewed August 08, 2001
| |
| | 
|
