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| ![]() ![]() Chores for Preteens and Teens by Susan E. Davis and Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P. As soon as she enters middle school, your child may find that her academic, social, and athletic obligations go into overdrive. And when she gets to high school, hang on!--things get even more intense. The last thing she seems to have time for is a long roster of chores, and the last place she may want to be is home. But that doesn't mean it's time to relieve her of her household responsibilities altogether. In fact, during the preteen and teen years, regular chores can help shore up your child's sense of competence and self-esteem, as well as reinforce the idea that she's a valuable member of the family. Ready for a challenge During the summer, especially if she's not working outside the home, it's reasonable to expect your increasingly competent and responsible child to shoulder a fair share of household chores. But once September rolls around, you'll have to be realistic about how much time she can devote to these duties, since she'll have to contend with the important and pressing demands of school, sports, and extracurricular activities. When you do assign chores, remember that giving an adolescent challenging jobs keeps her more engaged and demonstrates your trust. One way to do this is to respect her need for autonomy by allotting her complete responsibility for a certain task whenever possible. Appropriate chores might include:
Some parents feel that allowance shouldn't be used as compensation for routine household chores because they should be done for the sake of helping the family. But even if this is your family's policy, you still may want to pay your preteen or teen for doing extra work around the house or yard. Such payments introduce the teenager to the idea and values of working for pay. Teens also can make money by doing household chores and yardwork for neighbors, although it's good to encourage children to do this for free at least some of the time, as it helps them learn the value of altruism.
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