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| |    Is Your Name Your Destiny? by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P. From ancient times to our own, the belief that names are a source of power and influence has been ingrained in many societies. The Romans had a saying, Nomen est omen, which means "Names are destiny." Shamans and other mystics have long held that knowing something's (or someone's) true name gives one power over it, a theme that's echoed in the European fairy tale Rumpelstiltskin. In many traditional African societies, a child has two names, one for everyday use and one that is kept secret so that evil spirits can't harm him. And sometimes people fear that saying the name of a powerful enemy will make him appear and evoke his wrath, just like the fictional characters in the Harry Potter books who tremble whenever anyone dares utter the name of the evil Lord Voldemort. Mystical meanings Today, many people worldwide still practice numerology, a pseudoscience like astrology that uses a person's name and birth date to reveal insights into his character and help divine his fate. In numerology, every name can be reduced to a number, which is linked to fundamental vibrations that translate into specific human characteristics. "Robert," for example, condenses to number 6, which represents "harmony." According to one numerology book, my name means I am "loving, artistic, compassionate, refined, stable" but also "vain, lazy, gossipy, stubborn, and cynical." Hmm. Scientific findings You don't have to embrace mysticism, however, to see that names do influence the children and adults who bear them. Research into the psychology of names has shown that children with less desirable names tend to have lower self-esteem, get poorer grades, and have worse psychological problems than those endowed with more popular monikers. Adults with unusual names may actually have a harder time getting elected to public office. But before you decide that John and Ann are the only way to go, remember that there are people with uncommon names who are remarkably successful (ever heard of a man named Elvis or a woman named Gwynneth?). Besides, many people who grow up with unusual names revel in their uniqueness, while those who are given common names may chafe at being so "ordinary." The name game With all that's riding on a name, no wonder that parents-to-be spend endless hours mulling-and sometimes fighting--over what to call their babies. Parents choose names for many different reasons: to honor a relative or a famous person they admire, to carry on their own name (think of all the Jr.'s and III's out there), to implant a desired quality (for example, Chastity), or just because the name sounds good. On a higher level, naming implies hope for the future; in some cultures in which infant mortality is high, a child isn't give his "real" name until he is old enough to have a reasonable chance of surviving. Perhaps one reason parents spend so much energy deciding on a name is that a child's physique, temperament, and talents are fundamentally out of their control. The name is one thing that they can actually determine. Often, they try to peer into the future and come up with names that fit their children, and it truly is remarkable how often a person's name seems to suit his personality. By the same token, it can be quite noticeable when the fit is bad (imagine a "Tiger" who is meek and studious). In the end, no matter how hard they try, parents can't be certain how the name they settle on will affect their child. Perhaps what's important is not so much picking the "perfect" name, but rather helping a child grow up strong and confident, able to deal with both the foreseen and unforeseen consequences of whatever name they choose. (Besides, he can always resort to a nicknames.) More information: Talk about:
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