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| |    Parenting Types and Their Effects on Children by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. When children show maturity, kindness, responsibility, and other positive behaviors, we usually give parents the credit. By the same token, when a child has real problems, we're quick to assume that bad parenting is somehow to blame. But the assumption that parenting is the only thing that determines a child's development is false. Lots of other factors influence how a child develops, including genetics, economics, culture, neighborhood life, siblings, and rare events (earthquakes, car crashes, etc.). Still, parenting is an important piece of the puzzle. The work by Diana Baumrind (which I introduced in "What Is Your Parenting Type?") was some of the earliest research that looked at the connections between different styles of parenting and children's personalities and behavior. Many researchers have followed Baumrind's lead, but her early studies are still important. How the research was done Before I tell you what Baumrind found out, let me give you a sense of how one of the key studies was done (as reported in the journal Genetic Psychology Monographs in 1967). The children for the study were all attending a special nursery school that was part of the University of California. One thing that made the school special was that the parents understood that their children would be participating in studies. Practically all the families involved were middle-class. Psychologists and teachers carefully observed and rated the behavior of children in the school on a range of characteristics, including self-control, self-reliance, mood, sociability with peers, and the tendency to either approach or avoid new experiences. The psychologists then chose 32 children who fell into the extremes--either high or low--of these characteristics. They also spent many hours in each child's home, carefully observing and rating how the parents interacted with their children. In order to avoid personal bias, the researchers made sure that different observers rated parents similarly (a measure of reliability). What they found The researchers sorted the children into three groups based on their behaviors. Group 1 was described as "self-reliant, self-controlled, explorative, and content." Group 2 was "discontent, withdrawn, and distrustful." Group 3 "had little self-control or self-reliance and tended to retreat from novel experiences." When the researchers looked at the parents, they found that certain qualities of the parents went along with certain child characteristics. Of course, there were children and parents who did not fit into these patterns, but for the most part, parents of Group 1 children were "notably firm, loving, demanding, and understanding"; parents of Group 2 children were "firm, punitive, and unaffectionate"; and parents of Group 3 children "lacked control and were moderately loving." Although the study only had a small number of parents in it, many other studies have found similar patterns, although not always precisely the same (as you would expect, given how complex children and families are). Connecting parenting and children's development If you read "What Is Your Parenting Type?", you know that one way to look at parenting is to divide it up along the lines of control and warmth. In this way, you can put parents into four very broad categories. See our chart. The "firm, loving, demanding, understanding" parents from the study match up pretty well with the description of high-warmth, high-control parents (box A in the chart). Baumrind also called these parents "authoritative." By contrast, the "firm, punitive, unaffectionate" parents--whose children tended to be withdrawn and distrustful--fit well in the "low warmth, high control" box. Baumrind called these parents "authoritarian." The parents who "lacked control and were moderately loving" seemed to fit into box B. Sometimes called "laissez-faire," these parents tended to have children who had less self-control and seemed less able to handle challenges. The message for parents? The message is, I think, simple and powerful: Young children need warmth from their parents, but they also need limits and expectations. Positive parental control doesn't stifle or oppress children, but instead helps them to develop self-reliance. Another way to understand the study I described is that children who have different patterns of behavior bring out different types of behaviors from their parents. In other words, it's not clear whether the parenting approaches are causes or effects. Probably, they are both.
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