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| |    Slumber Parties by Penny Warner reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Between the ages of 8 and 14 years, slumber parties become popular as birthday celebrations. These coming-of-age all-nighters offer kids a chance to spend a long stretch of uninterrupted time with their friends, feel more independent, and stay up way past their usual bedtimes. But sleepovers can be stressful for parents, with the noise, non-stop activity, and little sleep. With a little planning and a few firm rules, however, you do a lot to reduce the nuisance factor for the adults while still ensuring that the kids have a dream-come-true slumber party. Make sure your child is the right age for a slumber party. For most children, the ages between 8 and 14 are the most popular years to enjoy a slumber party. If a child is much younger than 8, she may not be ready to spend the night away from home or be overwhelmed by an all-night party. If a child is beyond 14, she may have been to so many slumber parties that she's grown tired of them. She'll probably prefer a more intimate party, with only a couple of good friends, rather than a whole group. Devise a sensible timeframe. Start the party on the later side, so it doesn't make for too long an evening. Right before dinner might work well, or just kick off the festivities at dessert time. Be clear about when parents are to pick up the kids the next morning--around 10 a.m. is usually a safe bet. Don't invite boys and girls. Even if your child's crowd includes both sexes, this isn't the time to have them mix it up--they won't really feel comfortable sleeping in the same house, even if they're in separate rooms (nor will their parents, most likely). If your child insists on inviting some members of the opposite sex, have them stay for a while and then send them home at bedtime. Choose a theme. Make your slumber party stand out from the pack by giving it a central theme. Again, you'll need to consider the ages of your guests--anything from a Back to the Sixties Time Warp to a Haunted Mansion, a Come-as-Your-Favorite Book Character to a Nothing-Up-My-Sleeves Magic Show might spark some creative ideas. Make everyone feel at home. Especially if the kids are on the younger side, you'll want to do everything you can to make them feel safe and comfortable sleeping over at your home. Invite them to bring along a favorite stuffed animal, and leave a night light on in the hall and the bathroom (maybe even the room in which they're sleeping) so they can find their way around an unfamiliar house at night. Let the children know where you'll be throughout the evening (the den, your bedroom) in case they need anything. And be ready with a goodnight hug if any of your young guests could use a little comforting. Set the pace. Control the flow of the party so you have the kids indulge in active games at first, then taper off to more sedate pursuits such as an arts-and-crafts project, and finally wind things down with a good movie on video. Plan plenty of age-appropriate activities. Parties that feature music and dance are popular with all age groups (let your kids play deejay-believe me, you won't be able to anticipate their taste in music no matter how hip you think you are!). Depending on your guests' ages and tastes, craft activities might include making bead designs, lanyards, collages, watercolors, leather tooling, jewelry making, or decoupage. Cooking projects such as making pizza, pasta, or cookies from scratch also will keep them entertained for a good long stretch. Trivia and Pictionary-type competitions, charades, and other games can result in a lot of laughter. Girls usually enjoy giving each other makeovers or styling hair, especially if you supply a few new fun products, or you might amass a wardrobe of goofy or glamorous clothes, have the kids dress up, and then record their new looks on videotape or in instant pictures. Scary parties often can be fun for the older kids because they like a thrill, and drama and talent shows let them ham it up. Know your place at the party. To save your child embarrassment, be as unobtrusive as possible. Let the kids know that you're there if they need you and drop in from time to time to make sure everything is running smoothly, but try to be very low key. Make any house rules clear in the beginning to help avoid trouble, including when you'll insist on lights out. Other basic rules might include no leaving the house, no crank calls, and no mean pranks. Keep the snacks coming. Serve healthy snacks, such as cut-up fruit and veggies with dipping sauce, little sandwiches, or crackers, as well as sweet treats. And let the kids make some of their own snacks, so they have something fun to do (but be sure to supervise any cooking, for safety reasons). Have a few tricks up your sleeve to get them to sleep. A couple of hours before curfew, have the guests change into their pajamas, settle into their sleeping bags, and put on a good--and not too stimulating--video. If the children are on the younger side, they might be just as content with your reading a good story. Usually, some kids conk out early, while others want to talk and giggle all night, so be ready to separate the two groups. If one or two of the party-hardy types is really being disruptive, be prepared to unleash the ultimate weapon: Threaten to come down in your pajamas and sleep with them!
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