• Unless you have a pool or an uncommonly well-equipped game room, your child may have outgrown at-home parties and would prefer to host an event at another location. Ice- or roller-skating rinks, indoor soccer facilities, bowling alleys, or swimming pools often offer reasonably priced party packages, as do some bead shops, amusement parks, dance studios, IMAX theatres, make-your-own pottery studios, zoos, and museums (hands-on science museums are an especially good bet if there's one in your area). If the guest list is long or the budget tight, you don't have to spend a fortune to have a good time--invite the kids to the beach or lake and hold some swimming races and set up a volleyball net, host a dance party in your backyard or community center, or take the gang to a local park for a picnic and games.



• If you and your child decide on a party at home, be sure to have plenty of activities to keep your guests busy--kids this age tend to get into mischief if they're bored (think crank phone calls and toilet-papering the neighbors' houses). Dancing, make-your-own pizzas, trivia game or Pictionary contests, scavenger or treasure hunts (probably best to confine them to your house and backyard for safety reasons), and arts-and-crafts activities such as jewelry making and T-shirt painting are just some of the possibilities.



• Whether you're at home or at another location, your child will probably want you to be invisible. Let him know that you'll be there, but that you'll be as unobtrusive as possible. Then make routine checks on the party under the guise of preparing the food, seeing to the gifts, and helping out with the games or activities. Enlist your spouse or some adult friends to help you keep an eye on things, especially if it's a large group or a swim party. State any ground rules--no pushing people into the pool, the bedrooms are off limits, the music has to be keep at a reasonable decibel level, for instance--kindly but firmly at the outset of the party.



• If it's a mixed-gender party, keep in mind that many of the kids are going through puberty and are curious about the opposite sex. Avoid games that lead to embarrassing situations, such as kissing games or Truth or Dare, and encourage ones that both girls and boys will enjoy comfortably and equally.



• Sometimes children form cliques at this age, so if a guest seems to be left out of the fun, let your child know and encourage him to engage the wallflower in the games and activities. Or ask the guest to help you with some of the party tasks so he feels useful and less conspicuous.



• Serve fun and healthy foods. Preteens often have prodigious appetites, so keep the treats coming. They love the usual snack foods--popcorn, chips, and sodas--but if you put out a few healthier alternatives, such as cut-up fruit, carrot sticks, little sandwiches, and lemonade, they're likely to prove popular, too. You also can let your guests create their own mini-pizzas, using English muffins, pizza sauce, cheese, olives, and pepperoni slices, or set out the fixings for make-your-own ice-cream sundaes.



• For children this age, you might be able to forgo favors entirely, especially if you've opted for a pricey location or an arts-and-crafts party in which the kids' creations serve as the favors. However, your guests won't complain if you send them home with a little something, maybe hair accessories, fancy socks, inexpensive jewelry, or nail polish for the girls, and hats, sweatbands, or mini footballs for the boys.



• Don't forget the camera. Children might be a little camera-shy at this age, since they feel somewhat awkward and gawky, but take lots of candid shots anyway--they'll enjoy laughing over the pictures later. And keep in mind that, for some reason, even kids who complain about being photographed seem to enjoy posing for goofy Polaroid pictures or being videotaped and watching themselves at the end of the party. You also might hand out a few disposable cameras and let the kids click away.

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