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Parties for Older Teens
by Penny Warner
reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
When the birthday child turns 16 or 17, he is more like an adult than a child, and the choice of parties often reflects this newfound maturation. Most likely, you'll find that teens now prefer girl-boy parties, a small group of same-sex friends, or a special outing with one or two best friends. Talk over the party options with your teen to see what he'd like. Then let him do most of the planning, since he'll probably have strong ideas about what he wants for invitations, decorations, food, and fun.
Actually, you may find that it works well to have a couple of parties for your teenager: one for his friends and one for the family. These separate events allow him to enjoy them comfortably in different ways. Perhaps dinner out with the family would work well for one celebration, and a small gathering of friends at his home would be best for the other.
Just keep in mind that he's almost grown up, and birthdays at this age become rites of passage as teens near adulthood. Treat his requests with respect, negotiate the details, suggest some more adult-type activities, and stick around to help out when he needs you (chances are, he still will!).
Here are some points to consider:- Be at home during the party, but stay on the sidelines as much as possible so your teen feels he's trusted and can handle the flow of events all by himself. Tell him that you'll be there if he needs you for anything, and suggest that he advise his guests of any house rules before the party gets underway (such as the bedrooms being off limits, no clowning around poolside, no alcohol or cigarettes). Even at this age, some partygoers can get out of hand, so you may need to come to the rescue.
- Make sure that he has some activities planned to keep everyone happily engaged and out of mischief (did I mention that it's a good idea to lock the liquor cabinet with guests this age wandering around the house?). Depending on your child's crowd, the festivities might include music and dancing, trivia or Pictionary contests, and sporting activities such as swimming or playing basketball, darts, foosball, pool, or ping-pong. Some kids would love crooning along with a rented karaoke machine, others would enjoy a clever murder-mystery party (you can buy kits that supply the plot and characters). No matter what kind of party you choose, have a number of teen-pleasing videos on hand just in case the kids seem to be ready for a little downtime.
- If your teen likes the idea of a special outing instead of a formal party, some fun venues include IMAX theaters, amusement and waterslide parks, movies, a trip to the beach, or dinner at a restaurant your teen particularly enjoys.
- If you're hosting the party at home, make sure that you have plenty of fun and healthy foods on hand. Teens have prodigious appetites and they love the usual snack foods-popcorn, chips, sodas, burgers, pizza, fries, etc. However, they usually enjoy trying more exotic fare, too, so throw in some tasty ethnic food, such as sushi, quesadillas or tacos, make-your-own pizzas with unusual toppings, or stuffed grape leaves-it will give them something to talk about and make them feel more grown up.
- Older teens don't really expect party favors, so this is one place where you can save a little money.
- Don't forget the camera. Teens may roll their eyes when a doting mom or dad pulls out the point-and-shoot, but they still like looking at the pictures later. And, just like younger kids, they usually candid--even goofy--Polaroid pictures of themselves (which they can take home as souvenirs) or being videotaped and watching their antics at the end of the party. You also might hand out a few disposable cameras and let the kids click away.
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Created June 15, 2001
Reviewed June 16, 2001
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