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Preparing for the Babysitter: Nine Essential Steps
by Susan E. Davis
reviewed by Connie Harvey
You've finally found a sitter whom you like and trust, and you're ready to paint the town red (OK, maybe a demure shade of pink). Your work, however, still isn't done: It's time to make sure that your new sitter, your child, and you-the doting and cautious parent-truly are ready for the upcoming separation. Here are nine steps to help ensure a safe and peaceful transition: - Do a trial run--or two or three. If your child tends to warm up to strangers slowly, you can help her feel comfortable by having the new sitter come over while you're home. While sitter and baby get to know each other, you can do housework, pay bills, or hang out in the playroom. Next time, you can leave for a half hour, and the time after that, try leaving for an hour. After three tries, you all should be feeling comfortable enough for you to go on a real outing.
- Set down the house rules. Whether it's no jumping on the bed, no candy between meals, no running in the living room, or no reality-based TV shows for the eight-year-old, the sitter needs to know the rules to keep your children (and your belongings) safe, as well as to maintain consistency. Writing the rules down will help the sitter remember them, as well as provide a reference for when Johnny insists he's allowed to stay up until 11 pm.
- Do a house tour. Sitters need to know where everything is, including the bathrooms, the phones, the diaper changer, the extra sheets and blankets (in case of potty accidents), the thermostat for the furnace, and the food. They also need to know about emergency supplies, including the fire extinguisher, flashlights, and smoke detectors.
- Explain your discipline style. It's hard to know what sort of discipline the sitter is used to in her home, so it's important to spell out just what works in yours. You might discuss how long timeouts are for each child, for instance, or what consequences generally follow little Jessica's refusal to eat her dinner. It's also a good idea to make it clear what you don't condone: "We don't spank or hit our children in any way in this house," for example. Or "Please don't ever try to scare the children into submission by threatening them with boogymen or awful punishments."
- Highlight the potential for danger. Whether your three-month-old can now roll off the bed, your four-year-old is intrigued with knives, or your six-year-old has taken to sneaking into the bathroom and eating vitamins, your sitter needs to know what sorts of trouble your children can get into. Remember to update these warnings frequently; as children change, their favorite forms of trouble do, too. And try to avert potential problems by being realistic about your sitter's abilities-giving your baby or toddler a bath might be too much for a young sitter to handle, for example, especially if you have more than one child.
- Discuss schedules. Your sitter needs to know about nap times, bath times, meal times, play times, and bedtimes (as well as bedtime rituals) so that he or she can take the best care of your child (and, among some age groups, prevent tantrums). Your children will benefit from the consistency, too, as familiarity is comforting. Be sure to tell your sitter what sorts of things your kids might ask for in the words or quasi-words they often use, like juice, a teddy bear, a rubber duckie, or a special blanket.
- Leave a list of phone numbers. In addition to the number where you'll be and your cell phone number, you should leave telephone numbers for: your pediatrician (including night-time advice nurses), your child's dentist, a friendly neighbor, and poison control. Remember to write down the address and phone number of your own house, too; that's just the kind of information a frightened sitter might not remember in an emergency.
- Feed your children beforehand or leave easy-to-prepare food. Babysitters, especially teenagers, shouldn't be expected to prepare a full meal while caring for your children. Instead, leave a meal that your kids like (peas and macaroni and cheese, for instance) or order takeout pizza or other favorite fare. (If you go that route, make sure that you find out how much the meal will cost and leave money for the food and tip-better yet, order it ahead of time so it arrives while you are still there and the sitter doesn't have to open the door to a stranger). If some simple cooking is involved, show the sitter how to use the stove, toaster oven, and microwave. If you expect your children to eat a certain amount of their dinner before they dig into dessert (or limit them to one chocolate milk or soda a piece for the evening), make that clear to the sitter, also.
- Prepare your children. The old adage that dogs can smell fear applies to kids, too-even very young children are adept at sniffing out their parents' anxiety. If you act nervous about leaving them with a sitter, they'll pick up on it and it will make them fearful, too. And if you try to dash out the door without saying goodbye while they're immersed in a game of peekaboo or Candyland with the sitter, you're also courting disaster-they'll never know when you might take off, so they'll cling more, instead of less. However, if you act confident and matter of fact as you prepare to go out, they're more likely to accept the babysitting arrangement as inevitable, maybe even enjoyable. You can explain to toddlers and preschoolers about your plans in simple terms--how Mom and Dad are going out for a little while, but you're leaving them in good hands and you'll come in their rooms to give them a kiss when you get home. When it come time to part, give a cheerful goodbye and walk out the door. Chances are, your child will have a blast while you're gone . . . and you will, too!
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Created May 07, 2001
Reviewed May 10, 2001
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