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| |    Practical Tips for a Surefire Sitter Search by Susan E. Davis reviewed by Connie Harvey If you've never used a babysitter or if you've just moved to a new area, finding a sitter can seem like a daunting process. But keep in mind that most parents eventually find sitters they trust and there is a method to what can be a maddening search. Try these suggestions for finding a babysitter whom both you and your children will adore: Use Word of Mouth. You can go through a babysitting agency or hunt in the classifieds. You can post fliers in your neighborhood or take out an ad in the paper-but these can be dubious-possibly even dangerous-methods. The best way is to ask parents you trust for referrals to their favorite sitters; you'll be surprised how generous they can be about sharing these precious resources. Other good sources include your child's daycare center, preschool, or after-school program; many teens and young adults who work at these facilities are happy to earn a little extra money by babysitting in the evening. Sometimes churches and other houses of worship can provide leads to reliable and experienced sitters, especially if they offer child-care during services. I know one woman who found the sitter of her dreams in a neighborhood park; after watching a young teenager tend to a pair of little girls in an attentive and loving way for half and hour, the mother was so impressed that she offered the teen a job on the spot. Finally, if a particular, highly recommended babysitter is booked up, ask him about friends who also are experienced sitters and might be available. Interview your sitter. You'd interview a nanny and you'd interview a housecleaner--you need to interview a sitter, too. See our list of questions for suggestions on some vital questions to ask. A candidate's demeanor during the interview can tip you off to whether he's taking the job seriously and is likely to listen carefully to instructions. One caveat, though: Even the kindest, most conscientious preteen or teen isn't always graced in the social-skills department, especially when talking to adults they don't know well. Cut them some slack when you interview them, and don't take brief answers and a lack of eye contact as a tip off to ax-murdering tendencies. Often, kids this age are as wonderful with younger children as they are awkward with adults; if possible, have your child sit in on at least part of the interview so you can see how the teenager naturally reacts to her. If you have an infant, give the sitter a chance to hold her and see if he knows how to handle her confidently and safely. Do some homework beforehand so you know what babysitting rates are going for in your area and be sure to discuss payment up front. Also, make sure that your sitter understands and agrees to the house rules (e.g., what he can eat and drink, if he's allowed to have a friend over with prior permission from you, which devices-stereo, TV, video player, computer, and so on-he's free to use, etc.). Observe your child's reactions. I once fired a sitter because her only strategy for comforting my baby daughter when she cried was to sing "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" over and over and over again, which made my baby wail louder and made me break out in a sweat. The two of them clearly weren't on the same wavelength. On the other hand, I hired a babysitter because in her interview she picked up my baby daughter's one-inch-long sock, shook it in front of her, and said, "What big, huge feet you have." I thought that was cute. My baby thought it was absolutely hilarious and instantly fell in love with the sitter. The two of them had a happy, loving relationship for three years. Moral of the story? You never know what will turn a child on or off and you need to be sure your child and this sitter get along. If your child is pre-verbal (i.e., a baby), watch her to see if she's happy with the sitter. If your child can talk, ask her about her experience with the sitter--but be sure to weed out any comments designed to keep you at home, 24/7, such as "Tina's a witch-a real witch" or "Bobby tried to eat me twice while you were gone." Introduce yourself to the parents. A quick phone call to your sitter's parents will show them that you're a caring parent and employer. It can also help you confirm how late the sitter is allowed to stay up and whether or not the parents are available if their child needs help. Take your time. Finding a good sitter usually takes some time and research, so don't wait until you've been invited to a special dinner party or ritzy wedding (or merely are desperate to get out and have fun) before you start your search. Instead, take a conscientious but relaxed approach, and be assured that, sooner or later, you're bound to find someone who's trustworthy and whom your children enjoy.
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