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Getting Acquainted with Your New Baby
by Armin Brott
reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
OK, let's face it: Your baby isn't going to do too many exciting things for a while. For the moment, he's devoted to eating, sleeping, and using up that formidable stack of diapers. This is the perfect time, though, to start getting to know each other. Here are some of the best ways to begin.
- Hold him. Infants (and older kids, too) love to be carried. Your arms will do just fine, and if they get tired, try a front pack or a sling.
- Talk. No, he can't understand a word you're saying, but talk anyway. Explain everything you're doing as you're doing it, tell him what's happening in the news, etc.; it'll help him become accustomed to your voice and introduce him to the rhythm of language.
- Change his diapers. Use this one-on-one time with your baby to rub his pudgy little belly, tickle his knees, or kiss his tiny fingers. For at least the first month or so, you (or someone else) will have to change him as often as every two hours, so there's no shortage of opportunities.
If you've never done it before, don't worry: Changing diapers is an acquired skill. In just a few days, you'll be able to do it with your eyes closed (although you probably shouldn't). In the meantime, even if you make a mistake or two, baby poop washes right off your hands and won't stain your clothes.
One hint, though: Immediately after undoing the diaper, put a towel or cloth diaper over baby for a few seconds. For some reason only your baby will understand, the sudden rush of fresh air on the crotch often triggers urination, which means your little boy could spray you unceremoniously.
What about play?
If you were hoping to play football--or maybe chess--with your baby, give up on that idea for a while. But try to spend at least 20 minutes, broken into 5-minute chunks, every day doing something with the baby one-on-one. Chatting, reading aloud, rocking, making faces, experimenting with the baby's reflexes, or even simply catching his gaze and looking into his eyes are great activities. Keep in mind a few things:
- Listen to what the baby is telling you. If he cries or seems bored, stop what you're doing. Overstimulating your baby can make him fussy or irritable, so keep your play time to five minutes or so.
- Be encouraging. Use lots of facial and verbal encouragement, such as smiles and laughter. Although he can't understand the words, your baby definitely understands the feelings behind them. Even at only a few days old, he'll want to please you (that may change, though, in about 12 years), and lots of positive feedback from you will help build his self-confidence.
- Pick the right time. An infant's activity and alertness levels change over the course of the day. The best time to play physical games is when he's in an active kind of mood (like those times when he's moving his arms and legs around, clearly in an attempt to engage you); playing with toys or books is fine when he's quieter and more relaxed, perhaps just after feeding time. Most important, set up your playtimes when you can devote your full attention to your child, without the interruption of phone calls or other distractions.
- Be gentle. Because babies' heads are relatively large (one-quarter of their body size at birth vs. one-seventh by the time they're adults) and their neck muscles are not yet well developed, their heads tend to be pretty floppy for the first few months. Be sure to support the head from behind at all times, and avoid sudden or jerky motions. Also, never shake your child, as this can make their little brains rattle around inside their skulls, causing bruises or permanent injuries. Lastly, never throw the baby up in the air. Yes, your dad might have done it with you and it certainly looks like fun, but it can be extremely dangerous.
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Created February 23, 2001
Reviewed August 15, 2004
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