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| |    Making Homework Work by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. When it comes to homework, it helps to take a positive approach, even if your own childhood memories of toiling away after school aren't all that happy. Few children actually like doing homework, but they can learn a lot from it. In addition to mastering the actual school material, they can learn to work independently and efficiently, to plan their time and organize their work, and to take responsibility for creating a product on a deadline. They also figure out how to set priorities and strike a balance between work and play. As a parent, you can help your children learn these important life lessons. Homework is your best opportunity to observe your child in action as a learner, which is, after all, his main job for most of the day. Although children behave differently at school and at home, you can still tell a lot by watching how your child goes about homework:
It's helpful to be clear about your homework expectations. If you feel that homework is valuable, tell your child. Even better, show your child by helping her gather supplies, set up a study space, and allow for sufficient time to do her homework. Most important, try to be available to offer assistance when she needs it. In setting expectations, it's wise to focus on the effort your child puts in, rather than on the results. A child who does her best and gets a "C" should feel proud of her accomplishment; it's not fair to criticize her for a lack of academic ability over which she has no control. By the same token, a child who easily zips through her homework and gets "A's" shouldn't feel unduly proud. Let her take on a real challenge-many good teachers are happy to devise worthwhile and rewarding extracurricular projects for advanced students--and take pride in that. The coach approach Many parents take an authoritarian approach to homework, mainly because that's what they remember from their own childhoods. They tell their children, "You have to do your homework! Do it now!" When the homework isn't done, they become angry, and think of punishments such as "No TV for a month!" Homework becomes a battleground, and children become even more turned off by it. It doesn't have to be that way, however. A more positive approach is to see yourself as your child's coach. Like a coach, you want to get the very best performance you can from your "athlete," but, at the end of the day, she's the one running the race. Rather than laying down the law about homework, talk to your child about the realities: It's important that she does well in school and feels good about her accomplishments. Homework is an important part of school. You expect your child to give it her best effort. You'll help as best you can (including reminding her of her duties when she gets wrapped up in playing and forgets), but the homework is hers to do. Here's the hard part for many tenderhearted parents: Part of your role as coach is to allow your child to fail from time to time. This may seem the opposite of what a responsible parent should do. But children learn from failure as well as from success, and how you approach those failures is what counts. When your child does stumble, rather than rehashing what she did wrong, talk with her about what she can do better next time. Help her focus on a positive goal. What you're teaching her--about working hard and staying optimistic--is much more important in the long run than the particulars of the test or project at which she failed. Click here to join the discussion on School Issues and Problems for School Age Children Click here to join the discussion on School Issues and Problems for Preteens and Teens
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