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| |    When Your Younger Adolescent May be Using Drugs by Dr. Benjamin Spock reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Adapted from Baby and Child Care In general, if your child is 14 or younger, your advice about drug and alcohol use should be clear and firm: "You are not to use drugs. You are not ready to make such dangerous decisions.'' A child at this age has not had enough experience with life to be able to handle decisions about drugs. As parents you have more control at this age than you'll have later on, so don't be afraid to use it. (With older adolescents, a different approach is needed.) Early signs of drug use should alert you that there is something going on with your child that you need to pay attention to. You can set firm boundaries that are more effective than with the older child. Discuss with your child why she is using drugs and what it means for her. You will get further if you focus on discussions that invite the child to talk about her feelings. Listen to and accept her rather than trying to change her. Be ready to hear what is really going on with your child, not just ready to punish her for her behavior. If you feel these talks aren't getting anywhere, get help either from a friend of the family or a relative, a pastor or other religious leader, or a health professional or counselor. Think about how you can change the conditions of your child's life to make drug use less likely. If your child is unsupervised after school--a so-called latchkey child--you should know that this greatly increases the risk of drug and alcohol use, as well as cigarette smoking and other risky behavior. (For more, see "Self-Care for Preteens and Teens".) If you can arrange work schedules so one parent is at home, great. Otherwise, consider enrolling your child in an after-school program or finding a responsible adult to supervise her in your home. If it's possible that you might be setting a bad example, begin by changing your own behavior. Drug testing If your child denies drug use but you still are very suspicious, you might think about arranging a medical checkup. If your child has a good relationship with her doctor or nurse practitioner, she may be willing to divulge her secrets and obtain help from a professional. Urine testing is not always the right answer for teens who deny drug use, but in a few special situations, it may be appropriate. It's a bad idea, however, to pretend to do a different sort of urine test (say, a standard urine analysis), but to actually send the urine for a drug screen. In catching the adolescent in a lie, you have also destroyed any trust there might have been, and so have made it much less likely that the adolescent will cooperate. When is urine testing helpful? If the child shows all the signs of drug use, if she seems to be lying, and if there is no other explanation of these signs, then openly doing the testing may bring the child to the table and force her to confront her drug use. Sometimes drug testing and even regular drug monitoring will actually help children gain control of their lives. It may also give the child and parents a common ground for discussion. For more useful information check out our Tobacco, Family Relationships, and School Problems programs. Click here to join the discussion on Drugs, Alcohol, and Tobacco.
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