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| |    Dressing Themselves: An Acquired Skill by Dr. Benjamin Spock reviewed and revised by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Adapted from Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care Between 12 and 18 months, children begin to try to undress themselves. They take off their diapers and tug at their socks. By about two, they can do a pretty good job of stripping themselves. Now they try hard to put their clothes on, but they get all tangled up. It takes them about another year to learn how to put on the easier garments and another year after that--until about age four or five--to handle the trickier jobs, like tying their laces and or buttoning a shirt. This period from 18 months to four years requires a fair amount of tact on your part. If you don't let your child do the task he is able to, or if you interfere too much, it's apt to make him angry. Yet if you don't help him at all, he'll never end up dressed and may get frustrated at his own failure. Accomplishing the task You can help him tactfully to accomplish the jobs that are possible. If he feels you are with him and not against him, he will be much more cooperative. It takes patience, though. Here are a few suggestions:
Another source of conflict often concerns who is going to choose the child's outfit. Some parents never allow a child to decide what he wants to wear. For some it is a daily struggle. One solution is to agree on certain activities when the child chooses, within reason (party shoes may be fine for the supermarket but not at the beach), and certain special events when the parent will have the final say (holidays, weddings). For a young child, the choices should be simple: a child may be able to comfortably pick one of two shirts, but he might feel overwhelmed if confronted with four or five. I think one reason parents get so upset about clothes is that they feel they'll be judged by their child's appearance. So it may help to remember that, in the long run, a child who has learned to make his own choices is more likely to feel comfortable and confident--outcomes that are much more important than just looking well-dressed.
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