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| |    Protecting Your Child from Drugs and Alcohol by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Adapted from Baby and Child Care, by Dr. Benjamin Spock. In most cases, parents who have had a good relationship with their children from the beginning don't have to worry about their children suddenly going off the deep end with drugs. What do I mean by good relationship? Friendliness rather than scolding. Mutual respect, politeness, and visible love. When I say "from the beginning," I mean from the age of two or three years. It is difficult to make up for lost time during adolescence. One important family value that helps a child navigate these difficult times is open and clear channels of communication. In some families, certain topics--such as fooling around with drugs--are either taboo or else will elicit such a firestorm of anger and anxiety from the parents that the children never dare to bring those subjects up. Don't be fooled; not discussing drugs has little to do with not using them. In fact, silence probably increases the likelihood of drug use. The child talks to others about this issue, usually friends who may have a very different perspective on the advisability and potential consequences of drug use from yours. When there is an open climate for discussion in the home, parents give their children increasing freedom and decision-making opportunities, expect them to behave in increasingly responsible ways, and discuss what is happening in their children's lives as they continue to mature as individuals. Therefore, if you want your kids to make wise choices, you really must look at your means of communication. The relationship should be easygoing; neither parent nor child should be reluctant to bring up "embarrassing" subjects. I'm not saying the parent should treat the child exactly like an adult friend. This would be carrying it too far during the preschool and elementary school years. But parents should encourage and respect their children's increasing maturity during the high school years. They should also expect their adolescent children to respond to increased respect and freedom with increasingly responsible behavior. Helping your child make good decisions If I were to choose one basic skill to instill in your young child so that he has the strength to avoid drug abuse, it would be good decision-making skills based on a core set of values. Children who make good decisions are generally those whose values tell them what is right and what is wrong, and whose strength of character allows them to resist the urging of their friends to be cool like everyone else. To experiment with drugs or not to experiment with drugs involves, above all, a choice. If you look at the personal problems that increase the risk of serious drug abuse by teenagers--parents who use drugs, depression and other psychiatric problems, low self-esteem, anxiety, and a sense of powerlessness--then one means of prevention is to raise happy, healthy children. Of course, that's exactly what you are trying to do now. For more useful information check out our Tobacco, Family Relationships, and School Problems programs. Click here to join the discussion on Drugs, Alcohol, and Tobacco.
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