• The secret of survival during this time is low expectations: Set realistic goals, like getting the baby fed and changed as often as necessary and trying to eat, sleep, and shower when you need to. Notice that the list does not include preparing meals, cleaning the house, or entertaining guests!



• If friends or relatives ask what they can do to help, here are some ideas: Have them hold the baby while you take a shower. Ask them to bring over a meal. Suggest that they do some laundry, wash the dishes, empty the dishwasher, or clean up the kitchen. You may feel as if you're imposing, but people really do want to be helpful at a time like this.



• As much as possible, limit guests to people who will really help you, and limit the time for visits from guests whom you might feel a need to entertain.



• Tell your partner what you need. For example, maybe he could bring you the baby at night to nurse in bed, order and pick up some takeout food, or do a load of laundry.



• If you get really exhausted, ask your partner to get up and feed the baby during the night, either with a bottle of formula or breast milk that you pumped an hour after you nursed during the day. One whole night's sleep can make a huge difference.



• If financially feasible, consider hiring a baby nurse or a postpartum doula.

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