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| |    Alternatives to Self-Care by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P. Here are some alternatives to self-care for your school-age and teenage children. Find a high-quality after-school program. Check with your school district or look in the Yellow Pages under "Child Care." Most regions have a child-care resource and referral program that provides free referrals to quality programs. Find the office nearest you by looking in the Yellow Pages under "Child Care Resources; calling the national toll-free number, (800) 424-2246; or looking on the Web at Childcare-Aware. Many public libraries have latchkey programs that are specifically designed to serve children who would otherwise just be marking time in the library. If you're thinking of using the public library as a safe place for your child to spend after school hours, you might enquire about any organized programs at the library. If a program doesn't exist, your interest might help the library decide to create one. Consider hiring a sitter. Depending on where you live, it might be possible to hire a college student or an older child from the neighborhood to supervise your child after school. To find a trustworthy, reliable sitter, it's best to use teens or young adults you know well or who are personally known to friends of yours. You might want to ask a teacher or guidance counselor at a local church, temple, or high school if there are any conscientious students who might want the job. Keep family members in mind. If relatives live nearby, they might be available and pleased to help out with after-school sitting. This solution isn't for every family, however. Many grandparents work outside the home. Others simply prefer not to accept regular child-care responsibilities for any number of reasons. It's important not to pressure, and not to allow relatives to pressure themselves out of a feeling of responsibility. A good child-care program is likely to be a more positive experience than a begrudging relative. Neighbors are another possibility, but similar cautions apply. If you are fortunate enough to live near a wonderful family that is delighted to have your child five days a week through the afternoon and early evening, great. But often an extra child can become a burden and begin to feel unwanted or resented. If this happens, it's probably best to try hard for a different solution to the after-school problem. Consider changing your family's work schedule. If none of the solutions presented seem truly positive, it's worth asking yourself whether it might be in any way possible for you to arrange your work so that you can be home during the after-school hours. In the past, the assumption was always that in a two-parent-working family, the mother would be the one to stay home or work part-time. With our greater flexibility in gender roles, it makes sense to think seriously about the father taking on the after-school parenting role. This can provide wonderful opportunities for fathers to connect with their children in new ways and allow children to learn from them.
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