• Make a list of all the students in your child's class, so you can ask about them by name. If available, the class photo can help you put names with faces.



• Volunteer for a class activity so you can meet your child's schoolmates and see them in action. Observe the arrangement of desks-who sits next to whom.



• Ask your child about recess: Who did you play with? What did you do together? What were some of the other children doing? Ask concrete questions since it's often easier for a child to describe what he did, rather than how he felt, or what he was thinking.



• Ask your child about indoor playtimes and lunch--other major social times. Find out whom your child played and ate with, and notice if it is the same few children day after day, or if he has a wider range of acquaintances.



• At parent-teacher conferences, remember to ask about social relationships, as well as academic progress. Teachers know whom the popular children are and who is often left out, but they may not offer the information unless you start the conversation.



• Every child has rough days from time to time, but if your child has been coming home frequently complaining that "no one likes me," it certainly makes sense to talk with the teacher. Working together, a good teacher-and-parent team can do a lot to boost a child's social standing and acceptance. (See The Unpopular Child.)

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