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The "Division of Responsibility" in Eating

by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P.
Ellen Satter, a wise nutritionist and family therapist, talks about a "division of responsibility in feeding" which makes a lot of sense to me. She says, parents are responsible for making healthful food available on a regular basis (for young children, this means three meals and three snacks a day). Children are responsible for deciding how much of each food gets eaten at any time.

The wisdom of this division of responsibility is that it acknowledges the control that children actually have (just try to force foods down an unwilling child's throat--chances are, he will throw it up at you). It also allows children to grow into the self-control that they need to have for healthy life-long eating habits.

Parents who try to over-regulate their children's eating--who do not respect this division of responsibility--often end up with bigger problems. For example, some parents are so concerned that their child may grow up overweight that they actually give their child too little to eat. A quickly-growing child may need to eat a lot. If the child grows up never feeling secure that she'll get what she needs, she may well develop a pattern of overeating, as though to stock up for the anticipated shortage.

Other parents are concerned that their child isn't eating enough, and they constantly push and prod the child to eat more. Mealtimes are uncomfortable affairs, and the child comes to the table expecting to leave with a stomachache. Little wonder these children often develop an aversion to eating, and actually eat less than they would, had their parents left it up to them to control their input. Children who are prone to stubbornness often get into battle-of-wills around food, and actually go hungry rather than give in to their parents and eat more! Children who are prone to being obedient might dutifully shove the food down. But they never develop a sense of what feels comfortable for them, and perhaps struggle later in life to know how much is enough.

 RELATED INFORMATION
*  How Children Control Their Own Growth
*  Mealtime Behavior
*  Feeding Development


Created January 15, 2001
Reviewed August 15, 2004
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