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Going to the OB/GYN Appointments

by Armin Brott
reviewed by Marjorie Greenfield, M.D.
As a rule, women tend to connect with their pregnancies sooner than their husbands do. But there's one exception: Guys who get involved early on and stay that way right to the end have been shown to be as connected with their babies as their expectant wives are. And the best way to start the process of getting involved is to go to as many of your partner's obstetrical appointments as possible.

Most guys-unless they're hypochondriacs-don't really look forward to seeing a doctor. And seeing someone else's is even farther down their list of fun ways to spend a few hours. But going to your wife's medical appointments is really important, for a number of reasons:

You'll be able to ask questions. Going to the doctor's is a great opportunity to ask a lot of questions and satisfy your curiosity about exactly what's going on with your growing baby. Yes, you may be bored out of your mind some of the time, and, yes, you may be able to get most of your questions answered by reading a few books, but being there will help make you much more of an active participant in the whole thing.

It will demystify the pregnancy experience. Going to the OB will go a long way toward demystifying the process and making it more real. Hearing your baby's heartbeat for the first time (in about the third month), and seeing his tiny body squirm on an ultrasound screen (in about the fifth month) are experiences that simply can't be described. Words on a page or even your partner telling you all about it just don't do the trick--you have to be there.

You'll be showing your support. As time goes on, your wife is probably going to become increasingly dependent on you. She'll need more tangible evidence that you love her and that you're really going to be there for her. Going to see her OB together isn't quite as romantic as a candlelit dinner and dancing under the stars, but it's still an ideal way to show her how committed you are and to remind her that she's not going to be alone.

You'll facilitate your own involvement. The more appointments you go to, the more seriously the OB and her staff will take you and the more they'll support you in your efforts to stay involved.

OK, now that we've got you convinced to go to your wife's checkups, it's time to get out your calendar. Most pregnant women see their OB/GYN about once a month for the first seven months, twice in the eighth month, and once a week thereafter. Most of these appointments are pretty quick, but realistically, of course, you may not be able to take time off from work to make every one. Before you give up on the whole thing, find out whether your wife's doctor offers appointments in the early morning or evening, or on weekends. These might work better with your schedule. If the doctor tends to run late and waiting is a problem for you, ask about being the first appointment of the day, or the first appointment after lunch.

 RELATED INFORMATION
*  Childbirth Classes
*  Practitioners Involved with Childbirth
*  Dad's Involvement in Pregnancy


Created December 21, 2000
Reviewed September 12, 2004
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