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| |    C-Sections for Dads by Armin Brott reviewed by Marjorie Greenfield, M.D. The majority of childbirth-prep classes spend a lot of time emphasizing natural, unmedicated deliveries. That, of course, puts a ton of pressure on women to deliver vaginally, which ends up making a lot of them feel that they've failed if they don't-especially after spending hours and hours in labor that wasn't "progressing." You, on the other hand--if you're like about 90 percent of men-are likely to feel relieved, thankful that your wife's suffering is finally going to stop. Once she's gotten the anesthetic, the operation happens so quickly and painlessly that it'll probably make you wonder why she didn't do it hours before. What to expect The pain-relief issue aside, your wife's c-section can still be an emotionally trying experience for you. In a lot of hospitals, you'll be left alone while your wife is taken away and prepped for surgery. And depending on whether the c-section is considered an emergency, you may or may not be given any information at all about what's happening. You're likely to feel scared for your wife and baby as well as completely useless-all those childbirth-prep classes and breathing patterns out the window-as doctors and nurses busy themselves with your wife. Once the prepping is over, you may-or may not, depending on the hospital-be invited into the operating room. Quite often, you will be welcome if your wife is having spinal or epidural anesthesia and will be awake during the operation, but not if she is going to be under general anesthesia. In some situations, you will be able to see the incision made and the baby delivered - that is, if you want to. You can reduce some of the uncertainty by finding out the hospital's policies beforehand and letting your wife's doctor know during a prenatal visit what you both prefer in case a c-section is necessary. The macha thing One word of caution: Never, never, never suggest to your pregnant wife that she consider a c-section. You may be acting with the very best intentions, thinking only of her and how to end her pain, but for some women, delivering vaginally is some kind of macha thing that we guys will never be able to understand, and they'll interpret your suggestion as incredibly insensitive. Such a suggestion may only serve to undermine your wife's determination instead of helping her through the process. So no matter how miserable she seems, let her doctor make the first move. After the delivery As routine as c-sections seem to be these days (about 30 percent of all hospital-born babies are delivered that way), it's still major surgery, which means that your wife is going to need some special care afterwards. Odd as it sounds, after having a c-section, your wife may feel kind of left out. Within seconds after a vaginal birth, the mother usually gets to see and touch and cuddle her new baby. But after a c-section, the baby is usually quickly whisked away to have his lungs suctioned out. (This is a very routine procedure. In a vaginal birth, amniotic fluid is squeezed out of the baby's lungs as he passes through the birth canal. Because c-section babies aren't getting that natural Heimlich maneuver, they sometimes need a little help.) After that, the nursing staff will probably clean up the baby and do some routine medical checks. In most places, this is all done in the room where your wife will be able to see the whole procedure. If not, see if you can stick with the baby. It is equally as important to realize that not all babies make their grand entrance without a hitch, so be sure to take into account the circumstances. If your wife wants your support as her incision is repaired (which in some cases is cause for vomiting), your time may be better spent supporting her, knowing that your baby is in good hands. And if your baby has any sort of a rough start, as much as you may want to be there, it is important to support your wife while doctors tend to your newborn. Again, finding out hospital policies up front will help you to know what to expect for your baby's care after cesarean birth. And while early bonding with your baby is important, rest assured that if you aren't immediately able to snuggle with your new child, nothing bad will happen. After the delivery, your wife may need your reassurance that she didn't fail in any way, so be there for her emotionally. She also is likely to be in pain for anywhere from a few days to a few weeks. She won't be able to lift anything heavy, she'll be tired, and she might be groggy from any pain medication she's taking. Be prepared to take over the household chores, maybe with the help of friends or relatives. Help her resist the urge to do too much, too soon. Control the flow of visitors (dealing with well-wishers takes more energy than you might think). And don't make her laugh too much-at least for a few days.
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