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| |    Sex with a Pregnant Partner by Armin Brott reviewed by Marjorie Greenfield, M.D. For some men, sex during pregnancy is an incredible turn-on. But other guys, even while delighted with the notion of becoming a father, find their wives' ever-expanding physiques about as erotic as warmed-over meatloaf. Where you stand on the issue depends on a lot of factors, but one thing is pretty much guaranteed: When your partner is pregnant, your sex life will change. In the first trimester, your partner's pregnancy might make you hornier than ever. For many men, getting a woman pregnant is a kind of confirmation of their masculinity (before becoming expectant fathers, a lot of us secretly fear that we're sterile, but, hey now, here's confirmation that we're fully functional males). In addition, a lot of expectant fathers feel closer to their wives than ever before, and that closeness is often expressed erotically. For others, the first trimester (and, possibly, the entire pregnancy) is a time of decreased sexual desire. Before your partner got pregnant, for example, she was your wife, the beautiful, sexy woman you loved, and her breasts and vagina were your own personal playthings. But now that she's pregnant, her body is less fun and more functional. Even worse, when the pregnancy's over, you know she's going to be a mother. And mothers are not always seen as sexy. Finally, if you're one of those guys who believe that sex is purely for procreation, now that she's pregnant, there's no point in doing it anymore. As the pregnancy progresses, the differences between the wanna-have-sex's and the don't-wanna-have-sex's continue. Most men, for example, find their partner's growing body to be the essence of femininity and, therefore, quite attractive. Others don't. Their partner's growing abdomen and leaking breasts may seem more messy than enticing. But perhaps the most common reason men (and women) cut back on their sex life during pregnancy is fear that they'll hurt the baby. If you're concerned about this, you can stop worrying right now. The baby is safely cushioned in an amniotic-fluid-filled sac and unless you're having very rough sex, you have almost no chance of injuring your partner or your little bundle of joy. Your partner's ideas about sex during pregnancy can also run the gamut. She may feel more connected to you than ever, and might be much less inhibited now that you don't have to use birth control anymore. She may find the idea of having created a life with you to be wildly erotic and delighted with her swelling, more feminine body. On the other hand, she may be spending a lot of the first trimester vomiting from morning sickness--hardly an aphrodisiac. She may be thinking that mothers aren't supposed to have sex, she may be worried about hurting the baby, or she may just be feeling fat. She might even be feeling sexier than ever but reluctant to initiate anything because she's afraid that you don't like her body anymore. The solution here, not surprisingly, is to talk to each other openly about your feelings and desires. Chances are you'll be pleasantly surprised at how similarly you both feel. You'll also need to think about expanding your sexual horizons--especially during the last few months of the pregnancy, when your partner may find the missionary position rather uncomfortable or even impossible. If you haven't thought of them already, you have plenty of other ways to both get sexual satisfaction. Rear entry, side-by-side, or woman-on-top positions usually work like a charm. If those don't do the job, there's always mutual masturbation, oral sex, or vibrators. And if you're one of those guys who just can't get aroused with a pregnant partner, you can still make her feel special in other ways. Bring her flowers, take her out for candlelit dinners, hold her hand when you're out for a stroll or sitting by her side. Oh, and tell her that you love her. Often. That's always good.
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