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| |    Three- to Six-Year-Olds: When To Be Concerned by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed and revised by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. I would be concerned about a three- to six-year-old child who consistently acts in an angry, aggressive, or willfully destructive manner. Is the child's behavior a problem both at home and outside the home--either at preschool or at child care? Or are there problems in one setting only? Is it a problem all or most of the day, on most days of the week; or is there a specific day or time when it seems much worse? Does the child act aggressively with several different adults, or does a particular adult seem to provoke most of the angry feelings? There's another key question to ask: Is my child's behavior severe enough to make normal participation in activities impossible? People have different ideas about what constitutes normal activities for a three- to six-year-old. For example, I consider it normal for a child this age to sit and eat a meal at home for about 10 minutes, if not longer; but that same child may not be able to behave at a fancy restaurant or a long religious service. I also would expect a three- to six-year-old to play peacefully with peers for short periods, at least 10-15 minutes, but not for hours at a time. Trust yourself In the end, the decision about whether or not your child's behavior is really a problem depends on your gut feeling as a parent. If you are convinced that something is truly wrong, then there is a problem. After thinking about it and talking with friends, family, and professionals, you might come to decide that the real problem is your own too-high expectations. Or you might decide that you need expert guidance to analyze the problem and help you set your child on the right course.
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