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| |    Aggression: Three to Six Years by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed and revised by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Every child has aggressive and angry feelings from time to time. Around age three, many children seem to decide that they will try very hard to be good--that is, to act in a way that pleases their parents. This change represents a compromise of sorts: Children give up some of their demands for instant gratification in return for more harmonious relations with their parents. Also, their more sophisticated language gives them more control over their emotions. They still have moments of negative, oppositional, stubborn, selfish, frustrated, and angry impulses. But on the whole, their emotions are calmer than they were during the previous year. Between ages four and six, many children go through another period of emotional ups and downs as they sort through powerful feelings of love and jealousy in their relationships with their parents. In part, these feelings arise in response to the realization that the parents have a relationship that, in some ways, excludes them. Some girls act especially charming and agreeable toward their fathers while giving their mothers a very hard time. Some boys follow a similar pattern, only in reverse. Usually somewhere between ages five and six, things settle down again, with girls and boys modeling their behavior after their mothers and fathers, respectively. Aggressive play This is an age when children's play often centers on aggressive themes. Boys, in particular, often play at being superheroes, ninjas, or karate experts. These themes also show up in girls' play, but to a lesser extent. Probably this reflects the gender roles of our society--still very strong influences despite major changes in how women and men live and work. Large, scary animals like dinosaurs are often fascinating to young children who may feel small and powerless. Guns, too, can hold immense appeal. If there are no toy guns around, many children--especially boys--will create make-believe guns from any likely object.
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