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| |    Aggression in Toddlers Two to three years old by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed and revised by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Given a chance, most two-year-olds will be quite bossy. On the one hand, it doesn't make sense to oppose them merely for the sake of taking control. As Dr. Spock says, "A battle of wills with a two-year-old is exhausting." On the other hand, if you never feel comfortable saying "no," your child will become a little dictator. How do you find the right balance of control? A good rule of thumb is that small children can make small decisions: the red pajamas or the blue ones; one story before bed or two; leaving the park now or after one last slide. When you really care about the outcome, don't give your child the choice. This certainly applies to safety rules, such as whether to use the car seat (always), or playing with a sharp knife (never). For these sorts of decisions, you simply decide, and that's that. No amount of fussing makes you change your mind. Once children learn that certain decisions are not open for bargaining, everyone relaxes.
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