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| |    Aggression: 6 to 12 Months by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed and revised by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. At six to nine months of age, your baby is stronger and more able to control her body. She can reach, grab, tug, and bite. But she is still too young to be aggressive in the sense of intending to hurt. She is just beginning to connect cause and effect. She watches something dropped again and again, fascinated to discover that it always falls to the floor. For the same reason, she might grab your face again and again, because she finds your response interesting. She is still months away from connecting the look of pain on your face with unpleasant sensations she herself sometimes feels. Infants show anger very effectively with their faces and with their whole bodies. You can probably tell an anger cry from other cries. Your baby may show anger because she is hungry, tired, or uncomfortable in some way. She might just need attention or to be cuddled. She is beginning to learn that her actions have predictable effects on the people around her. If she smiles and makes noises, she comes to expect that you will smile and talk back. If you refuse to respond in the expected way, your baby may show anger. When aggression emerges: 9 to 12 months Every child has aggressive and angry feelings from time to time. Pushing, grabbing, or biting is usually just a baby's way of trying to get something or to find out how something feels or tastes. Sometimes, though, you do see real anger--for example, when you take something away or when your child cannot do something that she wants to do. When infants show intense negative emotions, it is sometimes hard to tell the difference between anger, fear, and discomfort. A 10-month-old who becomes aggressive when dropped off at day care might need reassurance and more time to get used to separation from her parent. Another 10-month-old who uncharacteristically cries and throws everything might just have an earache. Some infants are easily overstimulated and can respond in ways that look aggressive, when in reality they are just overwhelmed or afraid. Some parents find it hard to accept that their babies have a full range of emotions, positive and negative. For example, when their infants yell or hit out in anger, the parents laugh and say, "Isn't that cute, she's mad." These parents are uncomfortable with anger in their children, so they make a joke out of it. The babies, seeing their parents laugh, can come to think that their parents actually approve of their angry behavior. I think the key is to accept the emotions for what they are and to set limits, even at very early ages, on the behavior. For example, you can say, "I know you're angry, but you can't hit."
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