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| |    Aggression by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed and revised by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. How children manage aggressive impulses Aggression is a part of the human condition. One of our jobs as parents is to help our children find acceptable ways to express and deal with their aggressive impulses. A child's love of his parents, along with his wish to be loved in turn, normally provides a strong motivation for the child to learn to cope with aggression. In the course of growing up, children are able to bring their aggressiveness more and more under control--provided their parents encourage this. Ways to understand aggressiveness Aggressiveness is often a child's response to frustration, discomfort, or fear. If we can understand the triggers, we can often help a child to feel more comfortable and behave better. Children who are too young to express their negative feelings in words have little choice but to act out. If you start using emotion words (happy, sad, mad, frustrated, etc.) at an early age, then they are more likely to use these words later on to express and take control of their feelings. Children who experience lots of aggression--either in their neighborhoods, between their parents, or as victims of abuse-- are more likely to become aggressive themselves. "The aggressive child sees the world as an unsafe place in which there are only victims and victimizers, so he (unconsciously) chooses the latter and becomes a bully" (Spock, Baby & Child Care, page 645). In the long run, the best protection against children becoming inappropriately aggressive is to be raised by loving, peaceful parents.
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