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| |    Deciding on Child Care by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. If you are thinking about, or planning on, working outside the home when your children are young, you're not alone. Nonparental child care was once a rarity. It is now the norm. Since 1990, more than half of infants under one year of age spend at least some of their week in nonparental care. The older the child, the greater the percentage. Even so, you might worry about the effects of leaving your child in another's care. Infant child care There has been a lot of research on the effects of out-of-family child care on infants. While some argue that young infants should only be cared for by their parents, the majority of experts agree that babies can do well in child care, provided that the quality of that care is good. The essential characteristic of good quality care is that the infant develops an emotional attachment to one, or a very few, kind, responsive adults. Especially for infants, and children up to age one or two, the security that comes with knowing your caregiver well, and being known by her, is really critically important. Babies and young children who have this sort of long-term relationship with a caregiver are much more likely to feel emotionally secure. Their attachment to a caregiver does not in any way diminish their love for their parents. Medically, infants in group care have more frequent minor illnesses. But they often have fewer illnesses later in childhood (their immune systems are already "well educated"), and they may even have less trouble with allergies and asthma. So, unless a child has special medical needs, the medical concerns seem neither here nor there. Toddler and preschooler care Group care offers some advantages to toddlers and preschoolers, particularly only children. For active or temperamentally challenging children, group care can give a tired parent a needed break. Again, the quality of care is critical. Caregivers who are warm but firm can help children develop their autonomy within acceptable limits. Young children generally accept parenting from a kind, consistent teacher or care provider without any confusion about who their real parents are. Listen to yourself The decision to let someone else take care of your baby can be a hard one. You might feel guilty, particularly if you have the option of staying at home. You should resist the guilt. In the long-run, your child needs parents who are happy with their lives. Parents who feel obligated to sacrifice their personal and career needs may well communicate resentment and anger to their children. On the other hand, taking a break from your job or career might be the best decision for you, if it feels right and it's a practical option. The idea that women who are "just mommies" are in some way taking the easy way out is simply ridiculous. You need to search your heart and think creatively about your financial and career needs. For example, many families find a balance with one or both parents going to part-time or reduced hours, without additional part-time nonparental care. If you do decide on nonparental child care, you are also likely to feel some sadness about being apart from your baby. Support from your spouse or partner, and from family and friends, will be important in helping you through this adjustment. The articles in this section can help you decide on the type of child care and to choose high-quality care for your baby. Talk about:
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