 | ||
|
| |    Talking with Your Children about Sex by Dr. Benjamin Spock reviewed and revised by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Children in today's society grow up surrounded by sexual images. Sexual activity seems to start at younger and younger ages. Many schools offer little, if any, education about sexual development. As parents, you want your child to be informed and responsible. But sex is a difficult topic. How can you get your children to talk with you about it? The best attitude is one of openness and matter-of-factness. It helps, too, if you have made sex a topic of discussion from early childhood. If sex has been a taboo subject in your home for years, you can't expect your children to suddenly talk openly about it when they enter their teens. Sexuality is important from infancy on. Young children discover pleasurable sensations in various parts of their bodies, including their genitals, and virtually every child masturbates, some more openly than others. How a child feels about his body has a lot to do with how his parents respond to this early sexual behavior. If the parents respond harshly or with frightening myths, he's likely to feel ashamed by his urges, or afraid that some awful fate awaits him. Parents who are more matter-of-fact in their approach can teach their children to value and enjoy their bodies, within the limits of what the family defines as acceptable behavior. Early elementary school Children in early elementary school are usually more interested in many other things besides sex. But sex is all around them: on TV, in the newspapers, and (in two-parent families) between the parents. This is a good time for parents to make a few comments, or ask a few questions, just to let their children know that the topic is open for discussion. For example, let's say you are driving with your child when you come upon a billboard showing a seductive looking woman standing next to a car. You might say, "They are trying to sell a car using sex. What do you think about that?" Most kids will respond with something along the lines of "Pretty dumb!" and you can leave it at that. The main thing is, you've acknowledged that sex exists and that it's something you're not afraid to talk about. Of course, many parents are afraid to talk about sex, because they think that as soon as they bring up the topic, their children will ask them all sorts of embarrassing and difficult questions. That usually doesn't happen, however. Children tend to ask only what they need and want to know. The trick for parents is to give enough information to satisfy their children's needs, without going overboard. So, imagine that your seven-year-old child turns to you and says, "Dad, what is sex?" This is not the time for lengthy anatomical descriptions. You might simply answer along the lines of, "Sex is something that grown-ups do when they love each other, usually with a lot of hugging and kissing and stuff like that; you know, like mom and me." There are no magically right or wrong words. What counts is that you answer in a straightforward way, without being evasive, but without giving too much information either. Having this sort of brief discussion from time to time when your children are young makes it easier to talk with them about sex when they begin to enter puberty.
| |  | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| About Us |
Contact Us |
Our Partners Privacy Policy | Ethics | Advertising Policy | Terms of Service © Copyright 2004 The Dr. Spock Company. All Rights Reserved. THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information drSpock.com
provides is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for
professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care
professional if you have a specific health concern. Mention or advertisement
of any product, service, or brand does not constitute endorsement, guarantee,
or recommendation by The Dr. Spock Company. Please read our full
Terms of Service. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
