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| |    Depressed Feelings in New Mothers by Dr. Benjamin Spock reviewed by Marjorie Greenfield, M.D. It's possible that you will find yourself feeling discouraged for a while when you begin taking care of your baby. It's a fairly common feeling, especially with the first. You may not be able to put your finger on anything that is definitely wrong. You just weep easily. Or you may feel bad about certain things. One woman whose baby cries quite a bit feels sure that he has a real disease, another that her husband has become strange and distant, another that she has lost all her looks. Depressed feelings are common The majority of mothers don't get discouraged enough in this period to ever call it depression. The reason I mention it is that several mothers have told me afterward, "I'm sure I wouldn't have been so depressed or discouraged if I had known how common this feeling is. Why, I thought that my whole outlook on life had changed once and for all." You can face a thing much better if you know that a lot of other people have gone through it, too, and if you know that it's just temporary. Coming home A feeling of depression may come on a few days after the baby is born or not until several weeks later. The most common time is when a mother comes home from the hospital. It isn't just the work that gets her down. She may even have someone to do all the work, at least for the time being. It's the feeling of being responsible for the whole household again, plus the entirely new responsibility of the baby's care and safety. Then there are all the physical and hormonal changes at the time of birth, which probably alter the mother's mood to some degree. What to try first If you begin to feel blue or discouraged, try to get a break from the constant care of the baby in the first month or two, especially if the child cries a great deal. Go with a friend to a movie or the mall. Buy yourself a much-wanted dress. Work on some new or unfinished project--writing, painting, sewing, building--something creative and satisfying. Visit a good friend occasionally. Take the baby along if you can't find anyone to babysit. Or get your friends to come and see you. All these things are tonics. If you are depressed, you may not feel like doing these things. But if you make yourself do them, you will feel better. And that's important for the baby and your husband as well as for yourself. If it doesn't get better: postpartum depression If the depression does not lift in a few days or if it is becoming worse, you may be suffering from what is referred to as postpartum depression. Even mild feelings of depression, if they last past the time of your baby's two-month checkup, may be a signal that you need help. As a first step, you should get in touch with your doctor, who can make sure of your physical health and refer you, if need be, to a mental health professional. A psychiatrist or therapist can be of great assistance and comfort at such a time.
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