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| |    When YOU Are Ready for Toilet Training by Dr. Benjamin Spock reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Parental anxiety Everyone talks about the child's readiness to be trained, but parents have to be ready too. Many feel anxious about the whole business. I think the anxiety is partly based on the fact that we live in a society that teaches us to be ashamed of and disgusted by our bowel and bladder functions. Anxiety can also come from an internal pressure to have your child succeed with toilet training the "right" way at the "right" time. And for working parents, there's often an external pressure to get toilet training done as early as possible so as to ease the burden on a full-time baby-sitter or to get a toddler into a child care center that doesn't accept children in diapers. Training without force Some parents have misinterpreted "don't push" and "don't force" as "don't train." Not at all. Don't be intimidated by the child's first resistance. There is a delicate balance between training and not pushing. To train without pushing is the ideal way. Being positive and encouraging As the first step toward toilet training your child, you should sort out your own mixed feelings. If you have negative feelings, try to find a way to use at least a neutral, interested tone of voice when, for example, you're changing your 2-year-old's diaper and she's really made a big mess. Instead of comments about how dirty and smelly it is, you need to say something like: "Oh, my, what a big poop you made today! If you made it in your potty seat, you wouldn't have to lie still all this time while I clean you up and change you. Next time you have to go, you can tell me, and I'll help you use your special potty seat." Once you are familiar with your own feelings, you'll be more ready for your child's toilet training. As you begin to recognize your child's signs of readiness, you'll be in the best position to help her accomplish this important task. Talk about:
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