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| |    When Your Child Is NOT Ready for Toilet Training by Dr. Benjamin Spock reviewed and revised by Laura Jana, M.D., F.A.A.P. During the first year During the first year, there is a small amount of readiness for partial training in some babies in the sense that they always have their first movement of the day within 5 or 10 minutes after breakfast. If parents wish to do so, they can sit such babies on the potty seat every day just in time to "catch" the movement. After a few weeks of this, the baby's nervous system becomes conditioned to push as soon as she feels the toilet seat under her. This is a small degree of training, but it's not learning because the baby is not really conscious of the bowel movement or of what she herself is doing. She's not cooperating knowingly. And some babies who have been "caught" early in this way are more apt to rebel later through prolonged soiling or bed-wetting. I don't recommend any training efforts in the first year. Lack of awareness or control If your child does not seem to notice or care when he urinates or has a BM in his diaper, he is not ready to toilet train yet. Similarly, if he urinates more than every 2 hours and has no established pattern for when he has a BM, then it is unlikely that you will be able to help him learn how to time his use of the toilet. Lack of interest Some children may demonstrate all the early signs of toilet training readiness, but lack any interest in doing so. You (and your child) will be best served by waiting until she becomes interested to start actively toilet training. Loss of interest Children who have taken to the idea of using the potty seat early in the second year often suddenly change their pattern. Either they refuse to sit on the toilet at all, or they sit down willingly but never have a movement as long as they sit there. Right after getting up, they move their bowels in a corner of the room or in their pants. Parents sometimes say, "I think my child has forgotten what it's all about." I don't believe children forget that easily. Early in the second year, children tend to have an increasing urge to do everything for themselves, in their own way, and toileting may seem too much like the parents' scheme. So they hold the movement in, at least until they can get away from the seat, which symbolizes giving it up and giving in. If this resistance persists for many weeks, children may hold back not only when on the seat but for the rest of the day if they can manage it. This is a psychological type of constipation, and one that can cause serious problems if a child continually holds back his bowel movements. Resistance to toilet training is more apt to occur in the first half of the second year than in the second half. This is a signal for you to wait at least until about the middle of the year to start training, and to let the child feel that it is he who has decided to control his bowel and bladder, rather than that he is giving in to parental demands. 'Stress' in your child's surroundings Toilet training is an important new skill for young children to master. If there are other major events going on at home or in your child's environment, you should consider postponing toilet training. Such events can include an upcoming or recent move, a new baby on the way or just arrived, or a serious illness or death in the family. Every child handles such situations differently, so if your child continues to express an interest, there is no absolute need to stop him from using the toilet. Talk about:
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