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| |    What Is Temperament? by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Most parents and professionals believe that babies are born with very different behavioral styles. Some are relaxed and easygoing, others appear more intense and dramatic. Some seem to move constantly, others are more docile. Some are cheerful most of the time, others are more serious. These inborn differences in how a child responds to the world and to his own body are called temperament. The idea of temperament helps explain how children growing up in the same family often have such different personalities. It also explains why some parents have difficulty raising certain children, but much less difficulty raising other ones. For example, one parent describes her active, intense, quick-witted and strong-willed two year old as "exhausting," while another parent, whose own temperament is more compatible, calls him "my little sparkler." Temperament is not something that parents can choose or change for their child. Nor can a child simply decide to change his inborn nature. As a parent, it can be very helpful (and also humbling) to realize that a lot of who your child is, is beyond your control. What you can do is to understand and accept your child's individual make-up and adjust your parenting accordingly. Behavioral styles can change Temperament tells you about a child's typical behavioral style. Most children have a range of behaviors: loud sometimes, quiet at other times. Many temperament traits also change over time: Active children often grow up into adults who work at desks all day long. Cranky infants often grow up to be happy children. Shy children sometimes grow up to become effective public speakers. Even when temperament traits stay the same, the meaning of those traits often changes with age. An intense and persistent two-year-old has long, loud tantrums. The same child, at 10 years of age, might excel at baseball: His high intensity lets him play harder, and his persistence lets him practice longer to perfect his swing. Sorting out temperament One well-known system breaks temperament up into nine categories:
Your child's temperament has a lot to do with the pleasures and problems you will have raising her. It has a lot to do with how you feel about yourself as a parent. How well you understand your child's temperament, and adjust your parenting to fit it, has a lot to do with her long-term well-being.
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