 | ||
|
| |    Spoiling: How To Unspoil? by Dr. Benjamin Spock reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Since babies younger than about 6 months really cannot be "spoiled," the following advice applies to babies from 6 months through about 18 months. After that, the main symptom of spoiling is likely to be temper tantrums. The earlier you detect the problem, the easier it is to cure. But it takes a lot of willpower and a little hardening of the heart to say "no" to your baby, and in one way or another set limits. To get yourself in the right mood you have to remember that, in the long run, unreasonable demandingness and excessive dependence are worse for babies than for you and get them off kilter with themselves and with the world. So you are reforming them for their own good. Make out a schedule for yourself, on paper if necessary, that requires you to be busy with housework or anything else for most of the time the baby is awake. Go at it with a great bustle - to impress the baby and to impress yourself. Say you are the mother of a baby boy who has become accustomed to being carried all the time. When he frets and raises his arms, explain to him in a friendly but very firm tone that this job and that job must get done this afternoon. Though he doesn't understand the words, he does understand the tone of voice. Stick to your work. The first hour of the first day is the hardest. Babies adjust differently One baby accepts the change better if his mother stays out of sight a good part of the time at first and talks little. This helps him to become absorbed in something else. Another adjusts more quickly if he can at least see his mother and hear her talking to him, even if she won't pick him up. When you bring him a plaything or show him how to use it, or when you decide it's time to play with him a bit at the end of the afternoon, sit down beside him on the floor. Let him climb into your arms if he wants, but don't get back into the habit of walking him around. If you're on the floor with him, he can crawl away when he eventually realizes you won't walk. If you pick him up and walk him, he'll surely object noisily just as soon as you start to put him down again. If he keeps on fretting indefinitely when you sit with him on the floor, remember another job and get busy again. What you are trying to do is to help your baby begin to build frustration tolerance - a little at a time. If she does not learn this gradually from early infancy, it is a much harder lesson to learn later on.
| |  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| About Us |
Contact Us |
Our Partners Privacy Policy | Ethics | Advertising Policy | Terms of Service © Copyright 2004 The Dr. Spock Company. All Rights Reserved. THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information drSpock.com
provides is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for
professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care
professional if you have a specific health concern. Mention or advertisement
of any product, service, or brand does not constitute endorsement, guarantee,
or recommendation by The Dr. Spock Company. Please read our full
Terms of Service. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
