 | ||
|
| |    Bedtime Resistance: Why It's Hard to Handle by Dr. Benjamin Spock reviewed by Robert Needlman, M.D., F.A.A.P. Bedtime resistance is hard on kindhearted parents while the crying lasts. They imagine the worst: that the baby's head is caught in the slats of the crib, that she has vomited and is lying in a mess, that she is in a panic about being deserted. From the rapidity with which these sleep problems can be cured in the first year, and from the way babies immediately become much happier as soon as this is accomplished, I'm convinced that they are only crying from anger at this age. If several nights of crying will wake other children or anger the neighbors, you can muffle the sound by putting a rug or blanket on the floor of the baby's room and a blanket over the window. Soft surfaces of this kind absorb a surprising amount of the sound. It is sometimes worthwhile to explain the problem to touchy neighbors in order to reassure them that it will take only a few nights and to ask for their indulgence. A word of warning Here is an important warning to heed before going ahead with a plan to deal with bedtime resistance: Don't start unless you are confident in your ability to see it through to the end. The worst of these problems comes about when well-meaning parents let a child cry for 15 or 20 minutes or more, then go in and "rescue" the child by picking her up and cuddling until she finally settles down. The next night, the child cries for 20 or 30 minutes. If she is then rescued again, she may cry for 40 to 60 minutes the next night. The only lesson a parent teaches using this method is that if the child cries long enough, the parent will come to the rescue. Ironically, the problem is only made worse when parents are tough most of the time, but give in on occasion (when they're simply too exhausted to deal with the crying, for example). The child then learns that there is a chance that her crying will be rewarded. The result? She keeps at the crying for days and days, even after the parent stops going in. When a child has learned to persist in bedtime crying, it can take many days, or even a week or more, to unlearn the habit. So, before you decide to tackle your child's sleep-resistance crying, make sure that you are prepared to carry the plan through. Talk with your spouse or partner and with other children who are old enough to understand. If the whole family works together, the plan will work. A last note It is important to realize that the advice to "let the baby cry it out" is not the solution to every sleep problem. If your baby is younger than four months, or has a chronic health problem, you might need different strategies. However, in the case of a healthy 6- to 24-month-old child who has developed a habit of bedtime resistance with crying and tantrums, the quickest and surest way to deal with the problem is to stop rewarding the crying with extra attention. If you have made one or two attempts to deal with the problem without success, you might want to seek professional guidance. This problem can be very wearing on parents and the whole family, so it makes sense to invest effort into taking care of it. Talk about:
| |  | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| About Us |
Contact Us |
Our Partners Privacy Policy | Ethics | Advertising Policy | Terms of Service © Copyright 2004 The Dr. Spock Company. All Rights Reserved. THIS SITE DOES NOT PROVIDE MEDICAL ADVICE. The information drSpock.com
provides is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for
professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your health care
professional if you have a specific health concern. Mention or advertisement
of any product, service, or brand does not constitute endorsement, guarantee,
or recommendation by The Dr. Spock Company. Please read our full
Terms of Service. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
